I'll Have a Blue Christmas (As Long As You're Here With Me)

Home Sweet Home

As Enji pulled into the driveway, Shouto's anxiety skyrocketed. The space in his mind was beckoning, but it would render him useless in the face of danger- in the face of Enji- so he couldn't accept its calls.

Enji exited the vehicle, pulling his keys out of his pocket and unlocking the door. He turned back, only to see his son was still in the passenger's seat, seatbelt still buckled in and eyes unmoving. "Shouto, you're being childish. Come inside."

He knew it was coming. He knew he'd have to spend time with his father and he knew that no matter how much Endeavor changed, breaks were always meant for training.

He knew this, and he absently decided to ignore it when he found out, because it wasn't fair and he wasn't ready to accept it.

Shouto hesitantly exited the car and walked up to the door. He was half tempted to sleep in the car and when Endeavor went inside maybe he could run away for the two weeks. But Enji would find him. He always found him.

'Shouto could see life outside of the house from here. The branch in his palm was swaying slightly, the branches under his feet supporting him so he wouldn't fall. (Would it be so bad...)

He hadn't seen anyone but his father for weeks. He'd been numb to it. He didn't look at the tutors in fear of seeing their eyes trace his. And if they asked questions he would ignore them. He didn't want this scar and he didn't want to be Enji's son.

He'd thought about running away, but realized he had no clue what the outside world looked like. It's not like he could escape, and any memories before the incident were pretty deep in his brain, suppressed for his own safety.

So he climbed the tree outside his window. Swung on a few branches to reach the trunk and climbed up to the top, hugging the tree with his left arm and grabbing a branch with his right. And it was beautiful. Shouto had never imagined that's what it looked like. He'd seen the city before, up close. Hardly remembered it (how could he when his mother was gone and his skin had been melted...) but this was much better. The sun was setting over the skyscrapers, bathing him in golden light, and painting the sky above hues of pink and purple. The moon was already out, seemingly translucent with its counterpart still in the air.

He stole a few breaths, reminiscing in this moment. Savoring the fact that the world hadn't ended just because his mother was gone. Life continued and he could try to start something new. He didn't have to be a prisoner.

"Shouto! Get down here now before I burn that tree with you in it!"

Shouto could never have anything nice. It would always be snatched or burned or shredded before he got to realizing he had it in the first place.

'Just a few more breaths. Just a few more seconds before I face him.'

He took a deep breath, thinking of what he'd be like when he ran away. Maybe he'd be a villain, get revenge on his father. Maybe he'd become a doctor and save his mother.

He climbed down while picking a future career, and the minute he was level with his window, Enji yanked him forward and onto the ground.

"If you're thinking of leaving, forget it." He grabbed Shouto's wrist. "You'll never leave my hold. No matter what I will always find you. Nobody can or wants to save you. You, Shouto, are completely alone. Nobody wants you. Not your mother," he squeezed, "not your siblings," he snapped the bone, "your own brother died because he couldn't stand you. He'd rather burn alive than be near you. So I'm all you have, understand?"

Shouto looked at his trembling wrist as it was released. The numb pain of a broken bone all he could focus on."'

He slipped out of his shoes and he quietly dismissed himself to his room. Enji took to loudly making himself a late dinner, not offering Shouto any because they both knew he'd refuse.