glow - trixya

chapter 6: dreary

2011

Katya dines alone. She sits at a table with three other kids she doesn't talk to and remains silent while they make small talk, not paying attention to their voices. Instead, while she plays with the food on her plate, her mind is drawn back to Trixie. At some point, she looks up at the sky and the stars start to look a little bit like her face.

She ran away from Willam and Alaska right after Trixie left, stuttering out an excuse she knows nobody believed in, and then raced straight back to her cabin. Thankfully it was empty and she had some time to cry alone before the girls who shared the lodging with her started getting back. She laid in her little hard-mattressed bed, pretending her pillow wasn't wet, with only one thing on her mind.

Trixie and Katya have a heavy history behind them and around them, but Katya wonders if there is anything waiting for them in the future. She gulps. In less than a month, high school will be over forever and she will have no other chance at forgiveness, or at anything else for the matter. Trixie's smile haunts her, the innocent glisten of her lipgloss against the sunlight this afternoon was enough to make Katya want to crack another million jokes, just so she could keep seeing it. It had been so, so long since she had last seen Trixie smile at her. She never wanted it to have ended. What is wrong with me? She thought, taking a pillow and holding it over her head. If her roommates looked at her weirdly, they were more than welcome to eat shit. Hopefully, the pillow would suffocate the thoughts she was trying to hold back.

She looks down at her food. Nothing about it seems appetizing at all. Before she can lift her fork up to her mouth, a pair of perfectly manicured hands is set down on the table before her.

"Jan."

"I don't know what the fuck you're up to, Zamo, but I know that I don't like it."

The three other kids sitting down at the table turn their heads to stare at Jan as she takes a seat before Katya, their conversation being interrupted for a brief moment. Katya chooses not to look at them, locking eyes with the brunette that is now in front of her.

"What has Trixie told you?" Katya asks.

"She told me enough. You're trouble, and I don't want you near my friend."

Jan's eyebrows are meticulously drawn on her forehead and her eyelashes could poke a star in the sky with their extensive length. She's wearing a purple shirt that, if Katya looks close enough, is a little tight around her chest. Her hair is perfectly styled in a high ponytail, just like Trixie's was earlier, and she wonders how long they spent doing each other's hair this morning. Her jawline is sharp and her cheeks are rosy enough to show that she's alive. She can't read the darkness in her eyes, but it draws her in anyway. Katya forgets how beautiful Trixie's friend is under all of her usual threatening looks and aggressive gum chewing.

"Look, I understand what you're trying to do, but this is between me and Trixie. There's nothing for you here," Katya states.

"See, that's where you're wrong, Zamo, because there is definitely something for me here. How much longer do you think you're going to be able to keep being such an asshole to Trixie and still manipulate her into going back to you?" Jan shakes her head. "You aren't a good person. I know that, and Trixie knows that, but still you barely talked to her today, and there you were being BFFs again."

"Trixie and I have known each other for much longer than you two have. She has the choice and the right to forgive me if she wants."

"It doesn't mean she should," Jan snaps back. "You're a bad influence on her, and you only want to be around her because you think she'll believe your lies. Trust me, this is not my Trixie. She's smarter than that, and she's better than that, and... Just step the fuck back, Zamo."