glow - trixya

chapter 11: twinkle

"Trixie! There you are!" Katya turns her head to find a handsome man with a smile whiter than her own for whom she would be extremely charmed weren't it for the misfortune of her raging homosexuality. "We've been looking for you everywhere, cielito ."

"Fernando, conejito !" Trixie smiles and lets go of Katya's hand. The bride's clumsy accent shown in her attempt at saying her husband's Spanish nickname is endearing enough for her to ignore the gag in the back of her throat that the idea of them having pet names for each other in a different language has brought. What an escalera , Katya thinks. "Is it time for the bridesmaids' speech?"

"That's right, mi amor ," he continues smiling as he climbs up the steps to the gazebo and quickly reaches Trixie, grabbing her by the waist in a smooth display of their intimacy and pecking her on the lips. The newlyweds stare longingly into each other's eyes as Fernando pulls away from Trixie, his hands still firm on her. Katya still wants to vomit. "I'm so sorry to interrupt," he turns to the shorter blonde, who stands awkwardly trying not to lose balance on her high heels. "You must be...?"

Katya extends her hand. "Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova," she spits, lowering her hand before Fernando reaches it with his. "But your wife just calls me Katya." The smell of Trixie rolling her eyes and shaking her head invades Katya's nostrils. She grins.

"She is the one I told you about, conejito , from high school. She really took a shot for me that one time," Trixie smiles, stepping away from Fernando's touch. Katya pretends not to notice the way she wiggled her way out of his grip in a small defiance, but her eyebrows shoot up regardless of that.

"Oh, sure, Katya!" Fernando's smile widens. Katya is disgusted at how delightful he is. Her eyes scan not only his face, but his entire body searching for one flaw, just one, but there aren't any. He's the materialization of a perfectly sculpted and gentle bilingual god. He's everything. She can't blame Trixie for having fallen in love with him, despite her discreet aversion to being touched by him in front of Katya. "You know, if it weren't for you Trixie would probably have spent her whole life being a goody two-shoes. They say girls who are bad in high school always end up marrying doctors."

Trixie's eyebrows join at the center of her forehead, but she smiles. "Who says that?"

"I do," he laughs, and holds out his hand. Trixie lets out a small sigh before laughing along and taking it. Katya smiles at the scene, as thoroughly as she manages to without hurting any muscles on her face. She takes a minute to appreciate the smell of Fernando's cologne, his perfectly swift dark curls, and his stance before Trixie. He's lovely. Smart. Charismatic. Passionate. And to add insult to injury, he seems like a genuinely good person. Trixie may have found a perfect match for herself. A tan skinned, tall, handsome, penis-owning match that isn't Katya. He's the opposite of everything she is. "Well, if anything, now I know to take this one to the beach as often as possible."

Katya's eyebrows wiggle and twiggle on her forehead. "I can't believe you told him that story."

Had there been one last spark of hope left in her heart, it would have faded in this very moment. They used to have this kind of trust when they were younger, Trixie and her. When they were just kids. They had it again for one night, and they'll probably never have it again, Katya realizes. But of course she would tell him the story of that night, the story of them. Their brief romance was an enthusiastic, infatuated, in the moment, and hormone driven illusion that became a secret to be shared with a husband, no more than that. This right in front of her is a marriage, the true bond of souls and hearts and taxes. Trixie probably poops with the door open when they're home. He is very cute, but Katya doubts he hides his dirty underwear from her because he knows it won't make him any less cute, if anything it'll make him more real.

Oh, escalera . That's a word Katya had been avoiding thinking of, avoiding using.

Real.

Somewhere deep, deep in her heart, she knows that what she and Trixie had was absolutely not real. Not to Trixie at least. Half of the magic is already gone from this single fact alone. There were sparkles, and there was blushing, and there were secrets being whispered in many places besides their ears. It was one night, yes, but that night the entirety of Katya's heart, body, and soul burned with a single touch from Trixie and all she felt was the desire that nostalgia had long settled into her finally burning too. That night was the eloping of every single emotion she had ever experienced as a stupid little eighteen-year-old, and it was the best night of her life. For one night they lived in a beachy bubble of dark skies, bright stars, and glowing plankton. It was a pretty picture to look at. No parents, no friends, no school. It was a dream , Katya thinks. In the end that's all it was. A dream.

"About the night we got caught drinking on the beach on that school trip?" Trixie laughs. Her eyes stay deadly silent. "Of course! I can't believe you actually took a shot for me and said you drank all of that wine on your own!"

The chain that had been holding Katya's heart in place breaks after a single beat. Katya smiles and then giggles. Her shoulders shake and her eyes water. She places both hands over her stomach while nodding, looking at Trixie, then at Fernando, then at Trixie again. The more she looks, the harder she laughs.

She hasn't told him . Just the ring of the thought in her mind makes her laugh even louder. "Oh, that was the craziest thing! I can't believe the principal actually bought it!"

"To be fair, everyone always thought that you were the bad girl, so..." Trixie shrugs, a shy snicker dropping from her full lips as Katya breathes in and out slowly, trying to calm down.

"It was a mess," Katya says, looking at Fernando, and then turns her gaze to Trixie. "But it was worth it. I'll never forget that night. It was the best night I've ever had."

"It was," Trixie licks her lips and smiles. Their eyes are connected in a depth that only both of them know. "It really was."

"I don't know how you guys could spend so much time away from each other! You're such a duo!" Fernando chuckles along. He visibly tightens the grip around Trixie's hand for a small second and clears his throat. "Unfortunately, we have to go back inside so we can have the bridesmaids' speech before they all get too drunk to remember what they've rehearsed."

Trixie nods. "Yeah. Yeah, we do."

"Are you coming with us, Katya?" Fernando invites.

"I, uh..." Katya's gaze is still fixed on Trixie, but the bride stares down at her hands intertwined with her husband's. "I'll stay here for a bit longer, but I'll go meet Pri in a second. Go on, lovebirds. The party must go on."

"I guess we'll see you around, then?"

Katya smiles. "Sure, amigo ."

She watches them leave, and waits until Trixie turns to look back at her. She keeps waiting until after they're long gone. She keeps waiting on the Uber ride home. She keeps waiting until she falls asleep in her bed, alone.

Trixie's eyes only meet her again in her dreams.