Douce Dépendouce

Chapter 4

The next day came all too soon. When I opened my eyes, it had been pitch balck. I had hoped that it was the middle of the night, but soon found that it was only seven in the morning. I flipped onto my side, staring out the window as the storm continued. Practically all night last night I had been stressing, never had I wished that I could be away from Linda more than last night. I hadn't thought they had expected something, but by Alexs expressions and commentary, my mind began to wonder. I knew that I had to go back and see him eventually, but not as soon as I thought; I still was processing it all. Everything had happened so quickly, words had left my mouth which I shouldn't have said, I shouldn't have even gone. I was making myself worse by going to see him, practically to the point where I had let him go as far as having sex with me. I did love him, deeply and truly, but I despised him too. He knew how I felt about him, he had heard me say it, I wouldn't be able to ever get those words back.

Sighing, I dragged myself out of my bed, pulling on my riding gear and jacket from the night before. Once I got my boots, helmet, and gloves, I put my phone in my pocket and headed out, waiting until a bus came.

Once I had arrived at the stables, I quickly had gotten Hu tacked up. Once I did the final strap on his bridal, I petted him on the neck, letting out a sigh. He turned his nose towards me, sniffing my hand lightly. I smiled a bit and petted him one more time before I led him out, mounting him and soon heading to Nilmers.

The ride to Nilmers felt like seconds unlike minutes. Every step we got closer and closer the more tense I became. As I got there, I noticed Alex was already there. Her hands were dug deeply into her jacket pockets as she waited under the small shelter at the abandoned farm, her phone light brightening up her face. I gripped the reins tightly until I felt my nails digging into the palm of my hand. I mumbled as I loosened my grip, heading over to her. As I got closer, she tore her eyes away from her phone, looking up at me. I gave her a small smile, watching as she put her phone in her pocket, zipping up her jacket more.

"From all the times Linda made us come it's early in the morning," she mumbled. "Gonna be snowing before you know it at this rate," she said, her teeth chattering.

I nodded in agreement as I looked away, staring at the Circus light in the distance. It was the only thing that lit up the dark sky, the only thing that made it clear where Ydris was. I then turned back when I felt Alex's eyes on me. I looked at her, her expression unclear. I felt myself lean away, feeling as if she was peering into my mind, seeing those images from the night before.

"I'll go get Tin-Can," she finally said, breaking the silence.

She blew into her gloved hands, her breath visible in the air as she walked off behind the barn, soon coming back with him. I watched as she mounted him, thrusting herself into the saddle before she wiggled her hands, picking up her reins as Tin-Can walked towards us.

"Double gloved, double jackets, double hatted," she spoke, soon passing Hu and I.

I clicked him forward and soon joined Alexs side. We walked in silence, only the sound of rain in my ears as I drifted off. I wanted to speak to her, but feared what she would mention. She was smart, smarter than I thought she was. If she could read minds like Ydris, or even read facial expressions how she did with Druid Text, she'd know anything.

"What was up with you yesterday?" She asked, my heart sinking.

"What?" I asked, turning to face her.

"You seemed..." she trailed off, looking at the circus tent and then at me. "Quiet."

I settled my breathing, pulling on a fake smile. "Tired."