I Still Care - A ChilledMexican FanFiction

Chapter Three

Anthony's PoV

I looked up at Max, not sure what to think. I just told him I liked him. Is that true? Were those even my words? I just kissed him. I kissed my friend. Who does that? Oh my god, I'm so confused. Max was still just staring at me. I didn't know what to do. I felt like having a panic attack. My heart was racing.

"Anthony, are you okay?" Max asked me. I didn't answer. I stumbled backwards, and fell into the wall. I slid down it, now sitting on the floor. "Answer me or I'm calling the nurses." I tried opening my mouth but I couldn't. My breathing sped up. I felt like I was drowning. Max started shouting and hitting the button on the side if the bed. What happened after was just a blur. People came running in and grabbed me. I was taken to a different room and laid down. The doctors took some test and injected me with something. I eventually calmed down, but I was kept in the room for a while longer. Max walked in later.

"How are you feeling?" Max asked me, sitting down next to me.

"Okay. Sorry about what happened earlier. I couldn't do anything," I said quietly.

"Hey, it's fine," Max said, putting a finger under my chin; making me look up at him.

"Are they letting you out?" I asked. Max nodded. "You're up before me. That's something, huh?" A small smile spread across Max's face.

"How about I go talk to the receptionist. Then we get you out of here?" Max asked. I nodded and he left the room.

*time skip*

Max had gotten me out of the hospital. I drove him back to his house and he convinced me to stay there for a while longer. So that's where we were now. It was night and Max and I were both getting tired.

"Hey, Max?" I asked.

"Yes, Anthony?"

"Can I sleep here?"

"Yes. You know where the guest bedroom is," Max said. I nodded. Max turned around and headed for his room.

"Hey, Max?"

"Yes, Anthony?" He asked, turning his head towards me.

"If you don't mind me asking this. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"It's okay," Max responded.

"What's it like...being in your state?" I asked, looking at the ground.

"Depression?" I nodded. "It's like drowning. Except you can see everyone else around you breathing. Anxiety? If you miss a step on the stairs and your stomach lurches - it feels like that, but lasts much, much longer. Maybe something better to explain anxiety is-" Max paused. "Anxiety is like a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. I don't know what else I should tell you Anthony. I don't know how to explain anything else or what to explain." I looked up, connecting my eyes with his. I stood up and walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close. Max didn't hug back, instead he struggled against my touch. He tried to get away.

"Max, it's okay. I think I get it. Just leave it all behind. Stop thinking about it," I said quietly, keeping him in the hug.

"How do you run away from things in your head?" Max asked me. His voice broke on the last word. "The silence scares me cause it screams the truth. 1...2...3..." Max started counting. I pulled away from the hug easily as Max hadn't hugged back. He was biting his lip and staring up at the ceiling. His eyes were watering and I knew he was trying not to cry.

"How about we just go to bed?" I said, upset I had just made my friend cry. Max nodded and left quickly. He closed the door behind him and I heard the bed move as he laid down. I just stood in the hallway, thinking about what had just happened. Was Max really stuck with all those thoughts in his head all the time? That's what made me realize I needed to be around. I needed to help Max.

A/N This chapter made me cry. I can relate to a lot of this. These are all quotes I found on the internet. I've just been sad all day. I guess that's what made me write this. Thanks guys. Updates might be slower as well.