𝕋𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕤 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝔻𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕋𝕖𝕝𝕝. [𝕁𝕁𝕂 ℂ𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕔]

𝔹𝕋𝕊𝕩𝕁𝕂: ❝𝔻𝕖𝕒𝕣 ℕ𝕠𝕓𝕠𝕕𝕪.❞

TWs ;; Suicide, death

***

Dear nobody...

Footsteps ran down the wooden floored hallway with pants coming out of the owner's mouth coming short and ragged. "Guys, guys."
The other five turned to the owner of the voice, recognising their oldest hyeong.
"Jin-hyeong?"
The elder male was squeezing a note in his hand, eyes glistening with an ocean of tears that kept coming out and out and out, and as much as he tried to wipe them away it was to no avail, because they just grew worse, with the addition of sudden heartbroken sobs that made his knees go wobbly.
Before Seokjin knew, the five younger males were around him, the second eldest having taken the note from his trembling calloused hands.

I know I've caused you pain. I'm sorry. I've let you down, haven't I? I promised I'd try, I promised I'd get better for the sake of everyone else. Turns out it wasn't as easy as originally planned.

"Where is he?"
No response.
"Hyeong, where is he?!"
"He's gone."
More silence.
"What..?"
"HE'S FUCKING GONE!"
The five boys stared at the eldest in disbelief, tears gathering in their own eyes.
He couldn't be gone, right? For good? This has to be some sick prank he's pulling on them. Oh, they'd kill him for good. They had to find him first, though.
"He's not gone. He's not gone. He's just pulling a prank on us-"
"Jimin."
"HE'S NOT GONE!!"
"He's gone, Jimin. Jeongguk's dead."

And now I'm leaving. Leaving a trail of hurt behind me and leaving the bodies scattered around. Don't worry, I didn't kill anyone. It's just a metaphor, haha.. What I mean by it is...

"No... No he can't be dead. He was here yesterday. He was here last night. He was here, smiling, he-"

I'm tired of trying. I'm more tired than I can possibly even muster to begin with. Everything around me is so exhausting.
The routines, the schedules, going back and forth. I haven't had time to myself in eight years. Eight.
I love our job but it's just... The hate. The criticism. The stares. The expectations.
You'd understand if I just gave up, right?... Right?

"He killed himself, Jimin..." Yoongi mumbled, making the shorter break down into a fit of loud sobs. This couldn't be happening. It just wasn't right. This was nothing like the Jeongguk they all knew and loved. He was so nice, and so sweet, he was so happy.

This doesn't mean I'm leaving you, hyeongs. I'll always be with you and the fans. In your hearts, watching you from wherever my soul will end up in.
Give yourself the time to heal, and then you'll know this was for the better.

Jimin crumbled down to his knees and the others couldn't do more than just watch. Watch as Yoongi slowly left the room to go to his own, watch Hoseok train his eyes on nowhere void of emotion, watch Namjoon slowly embrace Seokjin - who helplessly melted in the embrace, watch Taehyung kneel before Jimin and hug him with full force.
Namjoon just mumbled, and everyone listened with no reaction, but they mentally agreed. "We have to be strong for Jeongguk. He would've wanted us to allow ourselves to grieve but then be happy and continue with our lives. He's in a better place. Now more than ever, we need to stick together as one... We're not alone, guys.. We can do this..."

No matter what happens or how many mistakes you make in the road. Don't blame yourself, none of this was because of you.
I will always love you, hyeongs. I'll see you when the time comes.

"We can't be stuck on feeling bad over not noticing it sooner... He's happy now."

Love,
Jeongguk.