Bumps Along the Way | J. Puckerman (2)

Details

I woke up and put my hand on my stomach, she was still there. We made it through the night. One night down, sixty-six to go. All the times I wished for December twenty-eighth to come faster, all the times I wished for the pregnancy to be over, all the times I wanted her to just be out were gone. I prayed for the morning sickness, I prayed for the trouble sleeping and the hard kicks and the sudden movements that made me feel like I was going to faint. I prayed for all of it, anything that showed that she was safe. Anything to show that she was still with me.

Marley had fallen asleep in the hospital bed with me, Jake was on the little couch that was made for a family member, and Blaine was in the recliner next to my bed with his hand on my arm. His hair was curly and puffy from the restless sleep and lack of hair gel. I softly ran my fingers through it, making sure to not wake him up. They were all sleeping, all so peaceful, all so happy. I looked around at the people I loved more than anyone in the world and my eyes filled with tears. It was scary, but I was here with the people I loved.

I reached over and grabbed my phone to text Sam, Andrea, Noah, Santana, and Millie. Blaine needed Sam, Marley needed her mom, Andrea had the right to know what was going on with her granddaughter, Santana was basically my sister so I figured she would want to know what was going on, and even though he and Jake weren't super close Noah deserved to know a little bit of what was going on. I made a group chat so it was easier to get the news out fast. I named the chat Baby watch! and texted them all a picture of everyone sleeping. Baby girl is still going strong and staying where she belongs! Daddy, auntie Marls, and uncle Bug are all getting some much-needed rest. Little miss has a name now! Come stop by and we'll tell you!

I thought about Facebook and Instagram groups I have seen following little babies in a similar situation to Kam, I thought about doing one for her. I would ask Jake his thoughts when he woke up. I liked the idea so it was easy to update the glee club and some of Jake's family. And honestly, the more people in Kamryn's corner the better.

I glanced down at my phone with a text from almost everyone in the group and a read by: Noah Puckerman.

You get some sleep too momma! I'll start my drive to see y'all soon :), Santana texted before anyone else. Andrea said she was on the way to help if needed and Millie told me to let her know if Marley or I needed anything. Sam sent a string of emojis and heart eyes at the picture of Blaine. He told me to send lots of love to baby butterfly and that he would come over after his dad got home to be with his siblings.

"Ems?" Jake yelled, sitting up on the couch and looking around the room panicked. His yelling woke up Blaine and Marley who joined him in the frantic glances around the room.

I shook my head and looked at all of them, "good morning," I said softly. "I still have a baby inside of me," I said, with a smile on my face.

Jake walked over to the bed, kissed me softly on my lips, and put his hand on my belly. "Good morning baby K, I need to text your grandma and some friends so they know you're still not homeless."

I laughed and put one hand on his, "I texted all the people already, I was actually going to ask you a question about telling everyone what's going on with a baby girl. Like they did with Charleigh, that way we can update the people in glee club and your family? I don't know, I just want her to have people in her corner. It's stupid, sorry maybe just ignore me. I'm gonna go," I said, trying to get out of the bed.

Marley put one of her hands on mine, "let's stay here Ems. You, me, Jake, and Blaine can stay here with baby Rose." I laid my head back on the thin and uncomfortable pillow and Jake walked over to kiss the top of my head.

"I won't actually leave," I said, looking up at Jake.

He laughed and sat on the bed next to me, "Hey Marls," he said, "why don't you run and get yourself some food and I'll sit with Ems?" Marley nodded and left the room to go and grab some food. "Okay beautiful," Jake whispered, getting in the bed next to me and wrapping his arm around me. "What did you want to tell me about baby Kamryn and telling people the same way they did with baby Charleigh?"

I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath, "Like a little Facebook page that way people can be in her corner? We could do something like hashtag butterfly stong, or baby K, maybe even Kamryn strong? I don't really know, I just need her to be okay and her to have all the people there for her. I get if you don't want to post a ton about her because of your dad and just people?"

"Emmy," he said kindly, "I think it is a great plan. We can set it up right now and be super okay," I started crying as he was talking. I had to be fine, I always had. I tried to take deep breaths to bring the tears back. When that didn't work, I moved on to trying to hold my breath. My teeth were chattering from the sobs that were building in my chest, the sobs that I refused to let break. I couldn't break, I had to be strong. "Baby girl," Jake whispered softly, "what can we do for you? What's going on in your big beautiful brain? We can do this, just talk to me or your Bugga. We. Can. Do this."

I shook my head, knowing that if I opened my mouth to speak I would cry. Blaine softly grabbed one of my hands and Jake rocked me back-and-forth in the bed. "Talk to us Nugget," Blaine soothed. "You can do it."

"All done... all...all...all too much," I cried, trying to bring Jake and Blaine closer. I needed them to be real, I needed them to be okay. I did it, I opened my mouth and started crying. There was no going back. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Jake or Blaine close enough to me, Marley was gone so I couldn't even get her remotely close. The sobs that were building were let out like a flood gate, I couldn't hold it in any longer. My monitors started beeping because of how fast my heart was moving.

Great. I was hurting Kamryn now just because I didn't know how to be okay. I was hurting my baby because I couldn't hold myself together. Amanda and a team of nurses ran in to check what was going on. I was sobbing and clinging to Jake and Bug, trying so hard to calm myself but I couldn't. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think and I couldn't get the racecar that was my brain to stop. "Okay, momma," Amanda said calmly "I'm going to give you a little bit of medical to help you calm down."

"Baby, Kamryn," I gasped. Nothing could hurt her, I didn't care how bad I was hurting. I just needed her to be okay no matter what it did to me.

Jake kissed my head and Amanda softly rubbed her hand on my arm, "They aren't going to hurt you or the baby," she said. "They won't even make you sleepy, they will just make your brain a little slower."

I nodded and she gave me the clear liquid in my IV. She was right, my brain was moving a little slower. I still wanted to keep Blaine, Jake, and Marley close. "Marls," I cried.

"Marls?" Marley asked waking into the room. "What about Marls?" I cried softly and grabbed my hands at her for her to come over to me. She walked over and kissed my head. "Hey Ems, I'm right here. I'm here, you're okay. I'm here," she soothed into my hair.

I reached my hand up and pushed some hair out of her face, "I love you, I love you so so much. I am so happy that you are my friend and that you are here and that you love my baby. She's going to love you so much, you are the best person ever and you have been through way too much. I hate that it happened to you, I hate it so so much because you are perfect," I cried.

She kissed me on my head again as Jake rocked me back and forth. I felt a sudden shot of pain in my stomach then liquid rushing down my legs.

"No," I cried, looking at everyone with my eyes full of fear.