POV you get adopted by Bo Burnham

Angel man saves you from your toxic abusive ____ mom

BANG BANG BANG
Someone is banging... on the door to your room you dirty minded bitch. Except your room doesn't have a door. It's just a hole in the wall, that is covered up by the washing machine. Which explains the smell of moldy drywall. A rat scatters across your face as you open your crystal blue orbs. But you can't see because your eyelashes are too NATURALLY long and thick. Anyways you here your toxic abusive monstrous moms raspy cigarette damaged voice SCREAMING AT YOU.

"Y/N!!!" She growls. "GET YOUR ASS UP I SOLD YOU ON CRAIGSLIST."

"W-w-w-w-w-w-WhAt???" You stutter, tears streaming down your NATURALLY FLAWLESS face because you don't wear makeup because you're not like other girls.

"YOU HEARD ME." She rages. "Now pack your shit your new owner is gonna be here in three minutes.

She leaves, slamming the nonexistent door behind her, causing the whole hole (hehe) to cave in, suffocating you and you die.

Except you come back alive because you're not like other girls.

Suddenly there is a ring as the doorbell, well, rings. Your head whips around. You hear your mom waddling to answer the door. It opens, and a vaguely familiar voice wafts through the house.

"Hello. I'm here for my new child." It sings.

"She's in her washing machine hole." Your toxic abusive sinister mom grumbles.

You peek out, and see him through the hallway. Standing in the doorway, shrouded in the glorious light of heaven, THE BO BURNHAM stands, his handsome lumberjack esque hair and beard billowing in the wind of your imagination. He wears his iconic white T-shirt and black jeans, fitting his tall lean bod perfectly. His blue eyes glimmer with adoration as he peers down at you.

"B-b-b-b-bO BUrNhAM?!?" You exclaim.

"Yes, child." He cooes, his little mustache dancing on his upper lip. "I have come to take you from this terrible place."

The glorious light of heaven grows brighter, and begins to envelop you completely. You are drawn towards the ragged grace of the angel before you, and alas, fall into his arms effortlessly. He dips you as though it was choreographed, and leans in close to you. His breath smells like flaming hot cheetos.

"Th-th-th-thank you B-" You stop with a gasp. He tilts you back upwards, but doesn't let go of your hand. "What should I call you?" you ask

He smiles, his pearly white teeth shining with the wisdom of an ancient prophet. "Bo, Sir Burnham, Father, Daddy B, Master, whatever you like, child."

You nod. A shiver ripples through your whole body as his hand pulls away from yours.

"And you child. How do you wish to be addressed?" He whispers

"Um. Just call me [INSERT YOUR NAME OR WHATEVER HERE LOL HAHAHA]" you reply.

"That is a beautiful name." he says.

He begins to lead you out the door, but you are stopped by a thudding noise. That thudding noise was the sound of a banana hitting your head. Your toxic abusive evil mom just threw it at you.

"What the fuck, toxic abusive evil sinister monstrous mom???" You shout.

She galumphs up to you sinisterly. "Tell Daddy B that he has to pay me."

You look at Daddy B. He does not seem phased by your mothers aggression.

"Oh sweet woman." He smiles. "I will not pay you, because the child you are giving me is in very poor condition.

You are a bit offended but he continues.

"She is sullen. Traumatized even. I will need to fix her. With the indescribable power of my comedy. ;);)"

Then, brilliantly large wings sprout from his ethereal back, and he leaps into the air, his arms wrapping around you to hold you close as you soar into the sky. You hear the shouts of your toxic abusive horrible mom below you, but the Bo just laughs, soaring higher and higher, until he drops you. 

You plummet hundreds of feet to the ground, and land with a crunch as every single one of your bones breaks. Your hair is still perfect though, because you're not like other girls. Only a moment passes, before Bo flutters down and lands beside you. You are in an unfamiliar neighborhood.

"Where are we?" You ask. Though you know the answer. You are in an unfamiliar neighborhood.

"My van :)" He says, patting the door of the van which you both happen to be standing next to. "Get in :)"