POV you get adopted by Bo Burnham

Daddy B saves you yet again

The line at The Garden of Olive Bo talked about is out the door. At least 20 people stand outside. As Bo approaches the hostess, you prepare to sit on one of the outdoor benches. However, you watch in amazement as he whips out a pair of little round black glasses, instantly hypnotizing the woman.

"I would like a table for two, pronto" he demands

"But we are full- don't you see the line?" She protests.

He lowers the shades down his nose, smoldering the woman deeply.

"What did you say?" He asks

She seems shocked. "I-I mean yes."

He is not satisfied. "Yes... what?"

She looks down at her feet in embarrassment. "Yes si-"

"Look at me" Bo interrupts.

Her eyes flick up to meet his. She sighs. "Yes... sir."

With that, her brushes past her, and enters effortlessly. The woman is left dazed and confused, but it is too late. Deep in your stomach, you get a strange sensation. You think you have to pee. {hint, you do not have to pee}

Bo leads you to an intimate little table by the window. There is a candle in the center, but it is not lit. Bo, however, is not worried. He simply snaps his fingers, and points at the candle. It instantly ignites. He then looks up to the sky, and winks.

"Thanks, God." He smiles.

You begin to sit down, amazed, but Bo rushes ahead to pull your chair out for you. You chuckle lightly and sit then. Across from you, bo follows and opens the piece of paper in front of him. You look down and see that you have one too. There are no pictures on it, so you don't have any idea what it is.

"Its a menu." Bo reads your mind.

Oh shit. Can bo read your mind? You suddenly recall every time you called him  Handsome Lumber jack man, and commented on his muscles.

"Don't worry about it." He laughs.

So he can read your mind? Or maybe he was just saying that about the menu? You have no idea. I think he wants you to have no idea. To keep you on your toes.

"What do you do with it?" You ask, ignoring your worried thoughts, and looking down at the menu.

"It lists all the food that they make here, and you order which ones you want to eat." He explains.

You gulp loudly for dramatic effect. What to pick? You have never had real food before, but all the smells wafting around you tickle your nostril sniffers. The menu is pretty useless, seeing as you can't read it, so you set it down and look at the tables around you. Next you and Bo, a couple sits holding hands across a plate of noodles. THey are sucking on them lovingly, and kiss when the noodle between them gets too short for both their mouths. You tap the man on the shoulder.

He looks at you annoyed, probably because you just interrupted his kiss. 

"What are you eating?" YOU ask. "OTher than your girlfriend's face?"

He stands up.

"Who do you think you are??" He asks with a scowl.

Uh oh.

"I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i'm sorry..." You stutter. "I was j-j--j--jj--j-just asking what you were eating."

He stands up taller, and raises his fist. This grown man is about to punch a child in the face in the middle of Olive Garden. You cower beneath him until suddenly, a chorus of angels sing loud from the heavens, and Bo has appeared at your side.

"Excuse me." He grins. You notice he is now wearing his top hat again. Cool. "Do we have a problem?"

The man still seems agnry. "Listen, little gay girraffe man," He spits. "Your kid just interrupted my dinner with my fiance."

Bo laughs. This man has no idea what is coming.

Bos laugh fills the restaurant. The lights go off, and a sudden breeze that was not here before makes your his hair flow beautifully. As you admire the great Bo, you notice that his feet are no longer touching the ground. His eyes begin to glow. He tilts his head back, amplifying his voice even more.

In a sudden explosion of light and sound, the man screams, but only momentarily, before he is... gone. Without a trace. Simply erased.

His "fiance" screams.

"WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!?!?"

"Run!" You warn her. "Before he gets you too!"

She sobs, and turns away, taking off in a sprint. You turn back to Bo. He stands casually now, top hat once again gone, and chuckling as though nothing happened. He doesn't even seem the slightest bit tired, despite just literally erasing someone from existence. He peers down at you, and takes you in his arms.

"It is okay, child." He whispers. "Angry man will not hurt you now."

"W-w-w---w-ww-w-where did he go?" You ask.

Bo laughs again, this time a more gentle one. "Why the  v o i d, of course. He is now lost in a maze of vans and top hats."