i've been wanting to get this out for away so here i go...
i constantly think your gonna chose someone else..i hate the way my body looks and feels. i hate how the voices control my thoughts. i feel like i'm not good enough for anyone. i'm never gonna make anyone happy enough to stay by my side. i feel like the one person i care about most is gonna get tired of me and leave. i'm scared i'm gonna lose the one person i truly care about. everyday i wake up with this pain in my chest. everyday i wake up with my mom mentally abusing me. everyday i wake up drained and ready to die. everyday i lose my mind and all the bad voices and bad thoughts cloud my mind and i lose control and start to harm. i'm scared my bf is gonna get bored of me and leave because i'm not beautiful or funny or kind or funny or anything. i'm sad, depressed, numb and i have bipolar depression. NO BODY WANTS TO HAVE THAT. i wake up and look in the mirror and tell myself that i'm beautiful but i'm really not. there's only one thing keeping me here and as soon as i lose that one thing i lose everything about me. i'll either end my life or turn off my emotions. i don't know how to fix myself. i don't know why i'm still here. i want to give up so fucking badly. i'm so fucking tired of living everyday with this pain. just let me go.
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MyJournal/Diary 
Short StoryTrigger warning! this isn't my whole story just parts of it... This will be hard to read just so y'all know. This story is about my life and everything I've been through and what I'm still going through. Everything that's in here is everything that...
