𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐚 ✓

48 | I'm Lost

"Where is he?" I whisper to Marcus who's sitting beside me as I stare at Carlos.

"He's asleep in the room next door, we had him checked over and there appear to be no physical injuries but we don't know his mental state." He whispers back.

"I'll be back," I say rising to my feet and walking out of the room. I walk to the room Marcus mentioned and open the door, he's lying there on his stomach coloring in a book. When he hears me open the door his eyes connect with mine, he slowly sits up and frowns at me.

"H-hello, who a-are you?" He whispers backing up to the headboard, his hands trembling.

My heartbreaking at the sight of him scared, a little boy should not be trembling like this. He should be happy, not scared.

"I'm not going to hurt you, baby, my name is Valentina," I softly murmur to him as I slowly approach him holding up my hands.

"Valentina? M-my sister?" He stutters out, eyes wide.

I nod my head and his eyes light up as he jumps off the bed and waddles over to me and wraps his tiny arms around my legs, crying.

I pick him up and snuggle him closer to me, kissing the top of his head, whispering soothing words. I walk over to the bed and lay on it with him still in my arms.

I finally have my baby brother with me, I'm never letting him go or letting anyone hurt him again. He looks just like dad, it's uncanny. I hear the door creak open and see Messiah walk-in assessing what's happening and spotting the little boy in my arms.

'Is that who I think it is?' He signs frowning at us.

"Yes, the others downstairs don't know yet but we rescued Levi and Carlos," I whisper since I can hear Levi's soft snores.

I gently pull his hand away from my shirt that he's clutching tightly not wanting to let go of me and tuck him in the blankets kissing his forehead, a few tears leaving me.

I turn around and see Mez looking at me with sadness and hurt, 'why didn't you tell us about the plan Val? We all could have helped you,' he sighs running a hand through his hair, 'I could have helped you.' He finishes signing.

"I didn't want anyone to get hurt or taken, otherwise it would have been for nothing getting them back —" I whisper looking back over my shoulder before continuing, "I need a shower."

I head towards the door, "don't let anyone in here or Carlos's room apart from Nate, Marcus, Santi, or Rafael." With that, I walk out the door and head into one of the spare rooms, and take a shower.

Once done I get changed into some sweats and an oversized hoodie, I walk down the stairs and get bombarded with questions, I ignore them all.

"Alec and Ivan, have a shower, there are some spare clothes in every room so take your pick. Santi and Rafael I want you to go to my father's house with Felix and gather my family and bring them here. Once everyone is here, we are all going to pick rooms and sleep, we all need it." I announce and then walk back up the stairs grabbing my phone and AirPods from my room and making my way back to Carlos's room.

I walk in to find Nate sitting in a chair near him fast asleep and Marcus is spread out on the couch asleep. I sit in a chair on the other side of Carlos and gently grab his hand.

Grabbing my phone out I press play and 'Train Wreck by James Arthur (Slowed Version)' plays and I put the song on a loop letting out my soft sobs clutching Carlos's hand more.

「 A/N — the song is at the top if you want to play it. I've had it on repeat writing up this chapter. 」

I can't believe that this happened to the man I think of as a father, he's laying here because of me. He's laying here because some man who once was in love with my mother is now obsessed with me.

I would rather that I was taken and this happened to me than someone I love, I wouldn't feel as guilty. I don't think I could ever forgive myself.

Is he laying there in peace? Is he laying there in pain? I'm sitting here in pain for what I have caused. I know he would never blame me but how can I not blame myself for this?

I know none of my family will blame me, but it will always be on my mind. What if he wakes up and hates me?

I shouldn't be sitting here in self-pity, I should be out there trying to find the bastard that caused this but at the same time, I want to be here when he wakes up. Will he want me here when he wakes up? Would he want my face to be the first face he sees when he wakes up?

I am so numb right now. My thoughts and feelings are all jumbled and not even making sense.

And then there's Levi, he's just a child. I don't even know what he's been through and I don't want to know. I don't want him to hate me either because he was taken, who knows what Viktor did to him.

He's just an innocent soul sucked into our life, he never asked for this. I wish our father had told us, I would have saved him a long time ago from this life. I would have kept him safe and protected him.

Now here he is, his mother dead and swept into our life. I don't even know if he knows about Nadia, how do I tell a child that his mother has died? How do I introduce him to a father who never wanted anything to do with him?

All these questions and thoughts ran through my mind with no clear answers or direction. For once in my life, I don't have any answers or a plan when it comes to Carlos and Levi, but I'll make this work. Two people mean the absolute world to me and I'd do anything for them.

I know Levi doesn't know me but that's okay, I have enough room in my heart to welcome him with open arms, I hope he feels the same. Thinking about Levi reminds me of my little Gianni, the little boy who didn't even have to try and make his way into my heart, these two pure souls will forever be etched into my heart and soul.

All I know is, I'm lost and need guidance.