Do You Blame Yourself?

[Chapter 33] - Level Two

"So, what's next?"

Peso turned around slowly. "You scared me!" he said, laughing. He placed a hand on his chest. "What do you mean by that?"

"After what happened earlier, I just want to know how you feel," Kwazii responded.
"Yeah, earlier," he sighed quietly before turning back around. "I think I just need a minute to... think everything over."
"Take your time."

"I just... don't know how to proceed and process this stuff. Well, I can proceed, but I don't know anymore... I'm just confused."
"How so?"
"I've never felt this way for someone, let alone have them return the feeling," Peso said. He shook his head.

"If we, logically thinking, did end up together, how would that make you feel?" Kwazii asked.
"You think I know the answer to that?!" he snapped, whipping his head around. "Kwazii, everyone like you that has ever loved me has hurt me. What makes you think I'm just going to fall into this trap so easily?"

...

"And if you pull a 'Who did this to you?', I might just leave this ship right then and there," Peso added.
"Who did this to you?"
"I hate you."
"Peso, listen. I've never done this before either. We'll get through this together-"

"The only thing you're going to do is open my eyes so I can see how blind I was. Things help me realize how many opposites we have. Would we ever work? First my father, then my brother, what's next?" he cut Kwazii off.

Was this a problem already?

"I didn't open your eyes just for that. I opened your eyes so you could see that we wouldn't break each other down, we'd also build each other up," Kwazii stated. "That's a whole process, isn't it? Breaking each other down, so we can build each other back up..." Maybe he had a point, but it was confusing and going nowhere.

Nowhere.

"Besides, there can't be a rainbow without rain, right? It's in the name." Kwazii was trying so hard to keep this going, and it wasn't going well. Peso dropped his arms back down by his sides.
"Maybe you're right..." he mumbled before walking out of the room.

Was he just going to leave it at that?

Why was he going to leave it at that?

"Wait, get back in here."
"No."

Oh?

"Peso."
"What?"
"Come here."

One word conversations... Great way to start off a relationship.

"Why?"
"Why not?" Kwazii held his arms out. He stood there, arms held out in front of him.

And he stayed like that for what felt like hours.

"Just come here. Please," he begged.
"Fine," Peso mumbled, dragging his feet as he trudged across the floor.
"If you think I'm going to be how you think I am, you're completely wrong. I'm not going to hurt you."
"It's not that, you ass. I just don't want you getting messed up and stuff," he admitted.

"How am I going to get messed up?" Kwazii asked.
"I just feel like I'm going to turn into what I don't want to."
"Like?"
"I just don't want to turn out like my dad."

...

"There's no way you can be like him. You aren't his carbon copy. And if you don't want to be like him, you don't have to."
"But that's the problem. No matter how hard I try, I'll never not be like him." Peso muttered, wiping his face. Kwazii looked to the side, chewing on the inner part of his cheek.
"I don't see you like him, if that makes ya feel any better," he replied.
"It... does? Actually? Knowing that people don't think I'm like him makes me feel a bit better," he answered.
"That's a start."

"It is."

Kwazii glanced down at Peso's hands before softly grabbing them. "It's definitely a start. I can believe that."

"So, what does this make us?" Peso questioned, looking up at him.
"What do you want us to be? As long as you're comfortable, then I am, too."
"But, are we going to use labels? What does this make us to everyone else?" He had a ton of questions, most of them not having answers.
"As long as we're both comfortable with them, then we can be something," Kwazii assured him.

"I want to be something more. I don't want these moments to just get pushed back to the back of our brains." Peso spat after a few seconds of nagging silence.
"Are you sure? This is a big step, you know-" Kwazii started.
"Are you sure? You seem all nervous about it," he responded, shooting a glance up at him.

They were both sure.

"Anything else? Before we make this whole thing happen?" Kwazii asked. Peso paused for a second before holding up his pinky finger.

"Till the sky falls?"
"Till it crumbles," he replied, locking their fingers.

And so that was it.

Words: 814 Words
ok so
yeah that was a short chapter
but i just needed some filler ngl SO HAVE THIS HAHAHA
FINALLY
IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOOOO LONG FOR THIS
i can finally give you guys my rela chapters YAS
OKAY ITS ALMOST 5 AM I SHALL PERISH NOW GOODBYE HOPE U ENJOYED HAHAHAHA