The love you never had..

Chapter 15: Big Disappointment

There could be errors everywhere. Sorry, I don't have much time to fix it. So please forgive me especially those grammar police out there.. haha
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Sunday night, Edward and I decided to go in an overlooking place. It was as if we saw the whole world with a very good view. It was indeed a perfect timing.

Edward: Anj (as he called me), you know what I am falling for you. You lighten up my world and I wanna be with you, it's just that I'm afraid I would lose you if I decided to become your partner.

Me: Why are you saying those things?

Edward: I had an ex whom I fallen deeply inlove with but it didn't work because I became too complacent that she will never leave me but she did and I had this emptiness feeling after we broke up.

Me: Do you think I will do that to you too?

Edward: No, no.. I am just not ready to give everything again then I'll end up with nothing.

Me:  Aren't you happy with me?

Edward: I am very much happy with you Anj..

Me: I wanted to tell you sana na I'm ready to be a part of your life but it seems like you do have a different plan.

Edward: Gusto ko rin yun but can we just hide this feeling that we both have for the mean time until we are both ready to show it off?

Me: (confused) Alright.

We gone home around 12MN and he noticed I was not in a really good mood yet he decided not to ask why (maybe he knows why).

Monday in the office. Mavs sent me an email.

Mi, kamusta date niyo ni Ed last night? Sinagot mo na ba siya? Kayo na ba?

I replied.

No di, actually I have been rejected. Akala ko mutual yung feelings namin pero hindi pala. He loves me yet he is not ready to be in a relationship. Pero okay lang. :)

Mavs sent me a reply.

Akala ko ba sasagutin mo na siya? Anyway let's talk later after shift okay lang ba?

Hindi na ako sumagot but I texted him "sige".

In a coffee shop near the office where we usually stay para magkwentuhan, I told him what happened last night. I did see him smirk as if he is saying, good to know you are still mine.

I went home and was about to cry when I decided just to sleep everything away. Bakit kasi ganun? Hindi ko maintindihn yung mga pangyayari. He rejected me, Mavs still there but he can't be mine. Maybe I might be falling inlove with the concept of being inlove. Nakakainis.

The next day, Tuesday, Hindi ako pumasok sa office. Mavs and Ed both asking me where I am but none of them received a reply from me. Ayoko muna sila makita. I called sick then I went to my parents' house with Bea and Yaya Xel.

Mommy: Oh iha Angela, why are you here?

Me: Nothing mom, I just came here for a visit.

Mommy: Hmmm... sige go to your room tapos ako na bahala kay Xel and Bea. (she knows when I'm not okay)

I spent two days in my parents' house and I didn't even bother to go out of my room. Yung maid ng parents ko nagdadala ng food for me.

While nakahiga sa bed ko I was staring on the ceiling. Why does it have to be this hard, God? Why are you letting me get hurt when all I want is to be happy?

I decided to go home to my apartment. Ayaw ko makipagusap kahit kanino aside from Bea and Yaya Xel. I even put my mobile phone in my side table drawer para di ko mabasa mga messages nila. I decided mag-work na uli and act as if nothing happened.

Bumalik na ako sa office, I act naturally. same old Angela they used to know, palabati, nakasmile at nagkikipagchismisan. Still thinking what will happen tomorrow..