the silence of loving someone but never telling them.
-discontinued but last chap can be read like an ending!
( childhood friends to lovers ) |real life + social media
━━━━━ix, goddessandgoodness ❝I feel home not in a fucking building but with you — you're home to me.❞
warning: religion!
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𝐇elena & 𝐅reddy ━━━━━━━━━━━
Days later Helena did in fact felt no better since the realization of herself crushing hard on Freddy. Even the best weather London's sky could afford, sunshine and here and there a few small clouds, hadn't have the power to make her smile bright and rich - not the usual ones, more like the red carpet smiles which were a mask sitting tight on her soft features while taking her breath away. She wasn't comfortable thinking about her childhood friend in that way; romantically and sexually.
And she knew he caught up on her sudden change of acting around him - Helena was more awkward than ever - even more than in seventh grade when they kissed under the willing gaze of the starless saints; it was a sweet try for the both of them yet it wasn't the right thing to do - Hel herself said that it was not fair to each other and their maybe soon to be first love interests. What she never possibly wanted to dream about was that she embodied the bittersweet first love to him. Just at the innocent age he found the truth, the exclusive fast red beating muscle in his chest - love.
The younger Arnold wasn't perfection with her insecurities, scars littered legs however he wouldn't want her to be anyone else, not then and not now.
To her, he forced her unwilling to go out of her comfort zone back in the dreary days of school and that was something she had to learn to appreciate as weeks turned in moths, years. He was the someone. The caring soul, her friend, her possible love - if she opened herself up to him. Right now the blonde had set up her faith to guide her through it - god would help her. In sadness, happiness, cluelessness.
Therefore she stood inside a church in the early morning of Sunday, liking the relaxed atmosphere of the church service with its singing and praying. Staring at the gilded altar ahead her, Helena questioned why she hadn't visited those sanctify place during work.
As she had made herself ready to go, blazer and matching dress pants, Freddy was deep in the center of his dreams and dearhe had looked so cute. His brown hair layed wild on top of his head, curling slightly at the ends. Soft snoring was the only thing heard in the almost empty room. She could've looked at him for ages but she decided to join the local church service.
Her eyes closed, hands in her lap, shoulders teased — they teased whenever someone walked in the narrowed corridor. Feeling a person sliding in next to her on the bench, she moved a little further away to politely make room, even if she found it incredibly annoying — wasn't like all seating were occupied. No, the most were free to take a seat, after all Helena was one of the only visitors left because the service ended just a little bit ago.
Slowly the person moved up to her and she began to wonder how ruthlessly rude that was. Or creepy — heck they were in God's house.
Ending the quiet pray, Hel raised her eyebrows and opened her eyes while opening the mouth under the white mask.
“What can I do for you?”, obliviously she wasn't ready to carry the burden of a stranger with her, not when she couldn't handle her own. It may have been sounding daft yet it made sense, didn't it?
“You weren't home when I woke up and I thought were I could possibly find you. Church wasn't on top of the list but here we are”, the person in question answered.
Oh Freddy.
“Apologies for not writing a note. You must have been worried.”
“I was”, he was worried sick, “However now it's alright. Do you want to go out for breakfast? There's a cute Café two streets from here.”
“I would love to.”
She loved it much more, spending time with him, than words could ever express.
Taking his outstretched hand, they went to said destination, hands interlocked and pure joy in their every step.
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hello I'm tried. I actually enjoyed writing a bit about church and belief in God even though I'm not religious ( the only one in my family ). When I started writing this I didn't know where it's going to end but I think that it makes sense. It's not going to be intensive and bad ( I've read book on and oh well if you know you know ) however it's going to stick 'cause its an important thing to Hel. Whenever y' all are religious or not I hope u like it nevertheless <3 ps: I made the gif && its so sweet
