into your arms, freddy carter

love me now

[sixteen; #16]

━━━━━xvi, love me now

Nervously Helena waited at her favorite place in London, a small retro styled coffee shop owned by a lovely elderly couple. As the sun hide itself behind a sea of greyish clouds, the grandfather clock got louder and louder as it seemed to her; nothing bought her peace - not the book 'homo deus' which laid on her left, nor the green tea before her. Actually the tea was too hot, the book seemingly too boring and the voice of Elvis Presley too annoying.

She noticed that she often found herself in those situations - God she was a sad excuse of a human. Nevertheless Helena trusted in herself that it would change. Now or never it was.

"Where are you?", the blonde whispered, holding up her wrist to look at her watch.

Freddy was running late.

If he even decided to take her invetion seriously and come - hopes got higher by the second. Her inner voice said he wouldn't be able to allow himself to downgrade to her level which was (by the way) at the bottom of the sea.

Within time of waiting for the man, Helena didn't even notice the noise of the opposite chair on the creaking floor - she didn't notice the well-known eyes, a soft brown and the familiar face.

"Excuse me? Hello?", Freddy said, trying to win her attention back to the present after sitting down for three to four minutes.

In his eyes the blonde looked stunning as always but if you kept watching her then you would see her red cheeks, possibly from crying rivers, and chapped lips.

"Oh - hi, why are you here?", Helena questioned and face-palmed herself; why didn't she think before saying random shit. It wasn't that hard.

Clearly, Freddy got uncomfortable by her words but he tried to play along.
"I don't know. Tell me why I got some declarations of love from a drunken woman in her mid twenties", wiggling his eyebrows, he knew she was ashamed.

And oh boy his best friend was not just ashamed of the fact that he said some declaration, love, and drunken woman, no Helena looked like she wanted to fanish into the unknown - far away from the talk.

"I'm not sure if I know that person - do you?", Helena tried to joke, trying to calm herself down.

Freddy, her counterpart, smiled blissfully to himself, silently swelling in the memories that this idolatrously strange situation swung up. The relationship between quick-tempered spirits under the facades of both, the inner strife of the lovers and disbelieving actions could be layered in bandwidths in colors on a canvas - they were meant to be.
And they had to work things out to shape a future, their future.

“Non, je ne se pas, dear”, —his French— “Anyway let's discuss why we're here.”

Normally, he isn't that straight forward but she didn't mind it at the moment.

“Okay, alright - Freddy”, her eyes found his, “Before I start I want you to know how much I'm going to be honest. I'm honest - fuckin' honest - now as I can possibly be. Let me finish, then you can say whatever you want. Understood?”

“Yes, Hel.”

His voice sounded rough as he spoke but she didn't gave a fuck.

She was going to use her words like she was a motherfucking poet — or something like that. Important to the blonde was the meaning of her words.

“Do you want it short and bittersweet or long?”

Irritation flashed upon his face. “Short'n'sweet?”

Helena glubed.

“IloveyouandIhatemeselfforfeelingaboutyouinsuchinappropiateway.”

Hell, she knew as she started to speak that she had to repeat herself — how embarrassing.

“I'm - I'm sorry. Could you please repeat your statement?”

God, she wasn't human anymore — a tomato seemed to fit more. All the blood rushed up to her face, hands sweaty.

Elvis sung his last words 'for me my darling I love you'.

"I said, I love you and I hate meself for feeling in such an inappropriate way. That's it.”

He didn't show any reaction — which made her feature turn sad and her heart sunk like the titanic.
Helena decided to watch the story of Rose and Jack later on when she got home with a big pack of salted caramel ice-cream.

Packing her things up and standing up their friendship ended.

Within two minutes Helena was gone but Freddy sat there, paralyzed what happened — what she said.

Fuck.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
uhm hi I'm still alive?
It's my bday (bad as always) and I decided to sit down and write on this story. This book is going to end in one or two chapters? Like wth I can believe it
+ I didn't had time, still don't, to write coz I'm not motivated atm nor are my studies letting me enjoy free time yikes.