Collection of Patrochilles Shorts

Call Me Goldie

"I didn't summon a demon," Patroclus said, bounding up from the basement and slamming the door behind him. Briseis glanced up from her book as Pat began to pace, hands clenched at his sides. She leaned back in the kitchen chair, pulling her book into her lap to get a better look at her friend.

Patroclus had been trying out his new summoning spell all morning with little success. He'd nearly blown a hole through the living room floor and had to shoo away the neighbors with a tale of faulty fireworks. But he wasn't...defeated, as he'd looked earlier. Irritated, yes, tired, absolutely, but he'd done something down there.

"Then what did you summon?" she asked, eyes snapping to the basement door at a sudden bout of laughter. Patroclus tensed up further at the noise, a scowl emerging in the furrow of his brow.

"An asshole," he grit out, sinking down heavily into the chair beside her. Briseis let out a startled giggle, slapping a hand over her mouth as Patroclus turned to glare.

"Like, do you now have two assholes or...?"

Whatever was downstairs laughed again, louder, causing Patroclus to stomp angrily on the kitchen floor. "Shut up!" he shouted, placing his head in his hands. "He's technically a demon, but he's an asshole ."

"...Were you expecting the demon to be nice?" Briseis quipped, only to earn another glare. Splotches of red began to sprout on Patroclus' face and neck--she hadn't seen him this mad since Paris invited him to his houseparty and only to lock him out before it started.

"No, I wasn't expecting it to be nice but I was expecting more...more gloom! More brooding! Some magic! Not--"

"Not what, Patty ?" a voice mocked from the doorway. Pat dropped his head onto the table with a thud and honest to god whined. Briseis examined the demon standing in the basement doorway--he was tall, about the same height as Patroclus, but he was bigger; wider. All muscle and sun-kissed skin. His hair rested just above his shoulders, golden. His eyes, red so dark they were almost black, met hers. He smiled. "Got any food?"

"Leftover pizza in the fridge," Briseis said, pointing behind her.

"Score!" the demon said, hopping once in excitement before making a b-line for the opposite end of the kitchen.

"Bri ," Pat gasped, head snapping up and eyes wide with betrayal.

"You know you weren't going to eat it," Briseis replied and Pat swatted at her.

"I might've," he mumbled, watching the demon basically inhale half a pie in a single breath.

"Ok, you go with that. So...do you know his name?" Briseis asked, only to be interrupted by the demon in question plopping down into the chair to her left.

"Nope, that would ruin our fun wayyy too soon--I want to stick around with dear old Pat," he said, and she could physically feel the effort Pat was exuding to not launch himself over the table to strangle a dead man.

"Well, we need to call you something," Briseis said, "and 'Demon' is going to get annoying."

"Goldie Locks," Pat spit before the demon could reply. "You're Goldie Locks, end of discussion."

"I didn't just travel through time and space to eat cold pizza and be called Goldie Locks by a boy in a dinosaur t-shirt," the demon ground out, smile blindingly bright, but cold. Pat stood, chair clattering to the ground, face almost as red as the demon's eyes.

"First of all, I'm a man," Pat snarled, ignoring the demon's snort, "and second, it's called 'Jurassic Park' you absolute heathen, and third: you're Goldie Locks until you tell me your name and I can send you back."

The demon leaned back in his chair, scrutinizing Patroclus in silence. Briseis looked back and forth between the two, the pivoting making her dizzy. The demon took a deep breath, drummed his fingers against the table and then he was smiling again, all mischief. Pat glared even harder, crossing his arms as if that would keep all his apparent rage firmly inside.

"Alright then, Pat...but just call me Goldie," the demon said with a wink. Briseis swore that the noise Patroclus made was distinctly inhuman.