Neither of us got to say goodbye

Let me know you're still there

...

  "Sapnap love, are you awake?" Sapnap's breath slightly hitches, he's not ready to speak to Dream, or have any sort of an intimate sleepy moment with him. Not after the way he was treated earlier, or after they haven't spoken in what seemed like so long, other than that fiasco earlier. He'd hardly call that a conversation, he was just trying to get away...why was he trying to get away in the first place?

This was his boyfriend he was talking about, the man he cherished so much since the day they started talking online all of those years ago, now finally moved in together. After 9 long years of pure friendship they were finally lovers, so why was Sapnap being so cold towards him just then?

That thought lurked in the pit of his stomach and made him feel like shit.

He broke out of his thoughts and then realized he had taken too long to even think of answering Dream's question, so he stayed quiet, slowing his breathing down to act asleep.

Feeling a slight shifting behind him he felt as if Dream was about to wrap his arm around himself, getting excited at this small gesture, being what would be the first meaningful touch the two have had in a while. It would ease his feelings of any sort of doubt he had, not faltering whether or not Dream was truly upset with him.

His heart sank as he no longer felt any movement behind him.

He felt as if he could cry for hours. He just missed Dream so much and the sad part was that he was right beside him, but there was so much unresolved tension, not even truly acknowledged, that he just couldn't. He couldn't do anything about it.

Holding in silent sobs was the hardest part, as Sapnap slowly drifted into his own slumber.

Awaiting a cold empty bed beside him in the morning.

And he was right.

-
  The upcoming weeks were all the same, the routine so it seems would be, Sapnap waking up and going about his day, involving streaming every so often, making a few meals (saving leftovers for Dream). Recently Sapnap had not been feeling the best emotionally, so he decided to take a much needed break from streaming. He was forgetful sometimes though and had forgotten to let his fans know of his upcoming absence, his community was somewhat used to there being a period of time without content but usually Sapnap never failed to give them a quick notice, even if it was on a private or alt account.

Many of his fans took notice quickly and couldn't help but wonder if it was just them who didn't get a warning.

Surprisingly the time away from social media only worsened Sapnap's state of emotion as he now had all the time in the world to be in his own head, and his thoughts were all but kind.

Thinking to himself that he deserved the treatment he had been getting from his boyfriend, that it was somehow his own fault that drove the dream to not spend a waking minute with Sapnap.

It was almost pitiful how he could let his own self be so down towards him.

Looking around the silent house Sapnap was bored out of his mind, drained from the crying he only had the courage to do when Dream wasn't around, it wasn't like he didn't want dream to see him cry, it was more of the fact that he didn't want to burden the man any more than he clearly already has. Days more of checking up on him only to get yet another cold shoulder.

But Sapnap knew he didn't really mean any of it, he was just overworked and stressed... right?

Enough thinking for now, Sapnap needed a change of scenery, even or a short while, dream was out on a three day work trip with some merch designers and he wouldn't be back until tomorrow, this also gave Sapnap the perfect opportunity to plan out what he had been excited for for a very long time. He only hoped Dream would be the same.

Taking the car keys and putting on his shoes and hat, he quickly got into his car and started the long drive to Karl's house. It was a 9 hour ish drive there and back so he thought it'd be best to just stay the night and go leave early the next morning, it was very tedious but so worth it in his mind.

Shooting Karl a quick text at an intersection he told him he was heading over, checking the time on his phone it read 11:04 am, he'd just get lunch on the way there and have dinner a bit later than usual, hopefully Karl had food other than the Mr. Beast burgers because that is apparently all Karl has had for the past couple of days, something for a video he was sure of it......he hoped that it was just for a video at least.

---

Finally getting to North Carolina Sapnap took a big stretch and yawned, stepping out of his car and locking it. Then popped the trunk to grab his duffel bag, he did not pack too much seeing as he was only staying the night. He just had something urgent to plan out with Karl, and again, who better to plan something of this importance other than Karl Jacobs himself.

Walking up to the front door he saw a sticky note to the side saying 'please knock!! Tucker is sleeping :]' this made Sapnap smile so much because he loved tucker, he had only ever seen pictures of him but he couldn't wait to see him once Karl told him Chris was going to be there as well.

Knocking as quiet as possible while still being able to be heard wasn't as much of a challenge as he thought because in almost a blink of an eye Karl was standing in the door frame wearing the brightest smile Sapnap had seen in a long time.

"NICK!!" Karl squealed and grabbed Sapnap into a suffocating hug, this was nice Sapnap thought. Karl let go and ushered Sapnap inside to put his things away, he passed the living room and saw Chris on the couch nodding off with a baby monitor in hand, poor guy he thought, kids must be such hard work. That thought made Sapnap frown a bit as he recalled his situation right now.

But Karl quickly brought him out of that haze with banter about everything and anything, that was so like Karl he thought.

---

They ended up catching up for almost two hours before the really got to doing what they had met up for. Karl was just so easy to talk to Sapnap couldn't help himself but indulge in the brunettes fiery conversations.

"So, now I'm no expert but I am pretty persuasive so I think I can really help you out Sap" Karl began taking out his phone to write some things down in his notes app. "Now getting them together would be a challenge if George wasn't already in america visiting that relative of his.", they talked more about getting everyone together and the overall things they would need to get to pull this off.

For a night in North Carolina in the summertime, it sure was cold. After getting most of what they could do with just the two of them, they decided to take a break and watch some Adventure Time in Karl's basement, since Chris was still knocked out on the couch upstairs.

This was nice.