Broken and Gone ( A Newtmas Fanfic)

Prolouge

Newt was dead, falling into the black abyss. Falling... Falling....falling. Keisha, Dante, Minho, Tommy laughing...

Him hugging Newt

Tommy shooting him...

He felt empty void of emotion watching his memories play over like scenes in a movie.He wondered if this were the end, this was what happened when you died a lifetime of reliving your mistakes, if so, Newt was starting to wonder if becoming a bloody crank was that bad. He wondered what happened to his friends back at the crank palace, Keisha, Dante, Tony.... He wondered if they were still out there in this crazy world messed up by the sun... The flare. Part of him hoped that he was right thinking that Keisha and her children were immune, like his friends, like Tommy the stop of emotion, started to break as he felt an ache in his chest thinking of the brunette, his warm brown eyes, the feeling of his heart beating against his as he hugged Newt, the way his face lit up when Minho had suggested he become the keeper of the runners in the glade.

Shuck, he missed Minho too, his stupid sarcastic humor that he pretended to hate but kept him going, and the way he had always been there for him. A dam seemed to break in his mind and all the memories flooded out. Brenda, the strong brave girl who had saved him in multiple situations, Gally, the stupid arrogant shuck-face who had helped them take down W.C.K.D as vengeance for making him kill Chuck. Teresa, the girl who Newt had never really trusted but always seemed to come through in the end.

Memory... Emotion... Happiness...sadness.

So many dead and so little alive.

Alby, Winston, Chuck, Zart, Nick.... so many others

His parents......

Lizzy, Elizabeth, Sonya, his sister still out there alive somewhere, he had met her, had talked to her, he would never see her again.

A cold feeling suddenly woke him from his train of memories as a slightly pinching pain was injected into his skin a feeling; he had grown to know too well growing up in the WCKD building. His eyes fluttered open just in time to see the needle leaving his arm. It was a girl holding the needle now, her long hair pulled back in a messy bun and her clothes looked like they hadn't been washed for several days. The idea of the girl should have terrified him, if he could have moved without pain, he might have sat up, but something about her made him feel strangely calm. The way she furrowed her eyebrows, the chocolate color of her hair and eyes, he had seen those things not so long ago.

"Keisha" He rasped.

The girl looked up her face going from surprise to fear to joy in a matter of seconds. Newt decided that she couldn't be Keisha, her hair was longer and she was much younger, shorter than Newt. She got up looked like she was about to hug Newt seemed to think better of it and instead ran off in the opposite direction probably to get someone else and alert them of Newt's conciseness. Probably to get her mother, because this was the girl he had worked tirelessly to save.

It was Keisha's daughter.

That was Jackie.

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Jackie was out of breath once she reached her mother tending to her almost four-year-old brother who was playing with a doll that Jackie had found.

"Mum!" Jackie called.

Keisha stood up; alarm etched across her face, picking Dante up and holding him to her chest thinking the worst. Jackie reached her and a smile stretched across her face.

"He's awake' she said.

Keisha smiled the first real smile in a long time and headed for Newt.  

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Thomas had never felt so eternally guilty, he had killed the only person who knew him, understood him. He had watched as his body jerked sideways as the bullet entered his body, saw the blood drip down onto the ground. Newt had just made everything just a little bit brighter. He had spent the last few weeks in his tent alone. He really did try to move past it he knew Newt would want him to, probably tell it stop this bloody shucking klunk in his head and move on with his life, the thought of Newt saying that made him give a small smile but the first smile in a long time now. Then he thought about his friends, he knew they were trying not to blame him for everything that happened, but he could still see it, that anguished look in Minho's eyes, the sad look that Frypan gave him thinking about all the Gladers all the friends he had lost, it was Thomas's fault all those deaths, if he had done more, he could have saved them.

Gally seemed to be the only one who understood what Thomas felt (which in Thomas's opinion was one of the saddest things yet.) He was the only one who knew what it was like to kill a friend, he had killed Chuck after all and now even knowing that WCKD was under control of his mind the whole time he still knew the feeling of grief, the feeling of knowing that you had rid them of their chance at many things.

Sonya had been the final blow for Thomas, Newt's sister, his family that because of Thomas he would never remember. He now felt fresh tears start to pour out of his eye, images of Chuck lying on the ground, Teresa blocking him and getting attacked, and then Newt, Newt, Newt, Newt. His half-crazed eyes, the look of pure hatred on his face as he yelled at Thomas.

He was sobbing now playing his best friend's deaths over and over in his head. What was wrong with him why was he so broken?

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Brenda was worried. Thomas hadn't left his tent for multiple days except to occasional glass of water or piece of food. His hair stuck up in different directions, he had dark bags under his eyes and above that his eyes were puffy and red like he was having an allergic reaction. A few weeks ago, Brenda had made the mistake of calling him Tommy just to see if some sort of nickname might cheer him up, he had looked at her in alarm, then sadness turning to anger he had yelled at her, thinking about it now he felt bad about it but at the time all he could think was Newt, his blond hair, his laugh, and even his smile. Then blood, blood everywhere painting a message

"Kill me if you've ever been my friend kill me"

NO, Tom, Tommy, too many dead, all his fault, all his fault.... ——————————————————————————————————————————————

Authors note: 

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

So I just edited this into a prologue 

Hope you enjoyed!!!!!

edited 9/29/21