barney x reader (lovebug)

SEXUAL LOLZ

you wake up

"hey y/n" he says with a smile

"hi barney" you respond

god he looks so attractive this morning... maybe I have a chance? no forget it, not gonna happen

"are you busy today?" he asks

huh? why would I be?

"no? what makes you think that"

"well I was hoping we could... yknow?"

absolutely. yes. out of desperation I grab him, wanting it already. he seems to be enjoying it already. 

"patience" he says

he pulls out his magic stick (like magic johnson) and starts massaging it, a whole whopping 12 inches

"no, not that we don't need that"

"y-y/n?"

"yes, turn around"

"this is the third time this week, you know I have issues. down t-t-t-there"

"too bad bitchboy, turn around"

and he turns around, his huge ass in my face.

"now don't get too serious, I'm not gay afterall"

he wasnt wearing socks but I didn't mind.

he crouched down and made a grunting noise, a long brown log came out.

"o-o-o-o-o-o-oh barney, faster'

another one and another one and another one just like DJ kalhed.

"i-i-i-i-i-ii-i-i can't hold it anymore barney" he pins you to the bed, you came. you want more.

he grabs your neck and strangles you while you beg for more. 

"dont worry kitten, you'll be alright"

he fucks you harder and harder until you can't hold it anymore, you moan loud. louder thanks you ever have. you feel euproric. 

"well then, must be on my way to work y/n"

and he leaves you just like your father did, what a real dick and dip amiright?