Every day is the same.
Wake to an annoying buzzing alarm, blast crappy d-lister villains into next week, file shitty reports, return to an empty home and cook dinner, and sleep. Repeat following.
Bakugou rarely ever got to have real fun, like meeting up with friends or family or putting a criminal on the verge of death. The best he has is when free days align, and he and Kirishima can hang out. It's also great to see the separated idiot gang (so-called the Bakusquad) unite for a drink. But how rare is that?
Usually, Bakugou is the one missing out on partakes like those. Y'know, cuz he's the number one hero and all. All those meet and greets with the number one and those impotent interviews which are always awry fill most of his free time. It's exhausting, being reluctant all the time. He doesn't want to do it, and he never will, but it's mandatory. It makes him actually want to be with his hooligang group of friends. Fuck his high school self. He misses them. He misses real action. When's a real, powerful villain gonna take him on?
He didn't get powerful. No. No no no nope. Not at all. He isn't going to call him powerful. Kill him if he did.
It began an hour into patrol, after being harassed by street fans. Some guy was stupid enough to wear a sketchy ski mask and get himself caught after attempting to rob a bank. Right into Bakugou's hands. He didn't even put up much of a fight in defense.
The holes on the mask for vision displayed his wide green eyes. Annoying. It ripped some during the futile escape, showing his cheek. Four freckles. Provoking. Bakugou knew this man ticked him off the boat. The bulky gloved right hand of the hero gripped the head of the criminal and he ripped off the mask. Green hair. Baby cheeks. Green curly fucking hair. He would know this pesky face anywhere.
"Deku." Bakugou seethed.
Deku looked up at Bakugou. "Kacchan!"
"What're you think you're doing here, damn nerd. Stealing from a bank. What ass mind did you grab in high school, you hero wannabe?"
Midoriya bit his lip. "It started in elementary school, Kacchan. When I was three."
"Stupid. You began kindergarten when you were five." Bakugou spat.
"It was then when I was playing with you, Kacchan."
"Stop wasting time. The cops will be here any minute."
"When you fell into that lake under the log we walked across. I helped you up. Or at least tried to. You smacked my hand away." Midoriya looked into his lap, seemingly hurt, his cuffed hands shuffling side to side. "I was sad, Kacchan; you hurt my feelings. So when I turned seven I drove to 7-Eleven to buy yakisoba. They were out. They were out I tell you! It was the worst day of my life."
Bakugou's mouth twitched. "I'm not asking for your backstory, Deku. And you fucking can't drive when you're seven! What does yakisoba have to do with this anyways!?"
"I'll tell you what the yakisoba bread has to do with this! I needed it to bully my mom. Being a foolish child I believed I should give my mom a gift because she didn't let me play Minecraft. I hated her because she did that. She loves yakisoba."
Shut up, shut up, shut up. You don't buy the person you loathe a gift to their appeal. The noise of a grunt was made as he grimaced. I was fed enough of his crap in the years I knew him. This disconcerting freak should stop being such a vague dick. Bakugou thought. Why don't the nerd put up a fight? That way I could blast his ass with an excuse. His teeth began to grind with annoyance when Midoriya continued his story.
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CasualeI guess this is a crack fic that isn't funny I want your criticism And whether if you hate it or you hate it, it ain't gonna be finished (to your favor) Starring ✨Bakugou✨ Language pursues I got bored