BRIGHTWIN SHORT ONE-SHOTS

Why?

"Why?" the question fades into the air. It's a simple word, a 'why' is one of the basic word when we learn a language, grouped with 'what', how', 'when' and 'where'. But an answer to a 'why' is hardly easy as it depends on the context and Bright thinks this is one where an answer to a 'why' is not something he can come up to with a blink of an eye..

"I'm sorry, what?" an easy move, answering a question with another question. Bright eyes his lover who is lying in his lap, scrolling through his social medias or maybe some chats from the fans. The lover in question turns his gaze to Bright, staring back as fiercely but almost nonchalant. It's like he is building a wall in his mind to divert Bright from reading it altogether.

"Why me?" his voice breaks. "There are so many people who are more deserving. Someone better, prettier, more handsome. It just.. why does fate being so kind to me? There are fans who love me unconditionally, I got you as my lover who loves me so much that sometimes I think you want to suffocate me with your love so why me? I am not even good enough" Bright strokes his hair, letting him to vent out his thoughts, the train-wreck of emotion being vomited into the night and Bright says nothing, not even a short hum as a reply.

It's not easy for someone to take silence as answer, so Win scowls which makes Bright smiles softly, too soft and it makes him look like love-struck fool. "Why are you quiet? Say something," it makes Bright laughs how Win looks like a little angry bunny with his pouting lips and his eyebrows twitched into a frown.

Bright shakes his head, the waste of laughter is still on his lips, "Of course you are enough. You are always good enough,". Someday Win gets like this, a little too insecure and thinking too much in his pretty little head. Win is one of the best person he have ever met. He is selfless and kind, he is more worthy than Bright could ever be but sometimes he has his own doubt. People tend to forget that the brightest star tend to burn out quicker and Win can feel worn out too.

"But why me?"

Bright is not a man of words, even if he writes songs so he shows his affections, love and feelings through soft touches. Soft touches through the hair, hugs, kisses on the cheeks or lips so he does that. He strokes Win's cheeks and kiss his lips or another on the forehead but who cares? It's his boyfriend so he can do what he wants.

He has so many things to say to the other, words off assurance floods his mind but everything left unsaid. He wants to assure that he is the best person, how his innocence shines many peoples' world, how he changed people's lives, like him, who never saw the good in world but somehow a Win Metawin changed that. Bright turns his gaze to the window, into the night sky of Bangkok which is tainted by light pollution but the beauty is there, different from the countryside sky but it's still beautiful.

He lays another kiss on Win's left eyelid, "Because everything happened is a reply to your kindness.. like how your love changed me, the world and you give others hope," another kiss on his right eyelid, "The universe saw that and it's trying to repay your kindness,". His boyfriend stares into his eyes, maybe searching for sincerity, maybe for assurance but whatever it is he looks like believes Bright once he broke their gazes.

"Thank you," with a small smile graced his lips he said. Bright shakes his head again as a silent 'no worry'.

"You will feel insecure for many times, in the past and the future but remember that you don't have to worry about losing me, or that you are not enough for me, because you do. You saved so many people Metawin, and I am one of them so if you think you are not worthy then remember us, because we always see the worth in you," he says and Win hums, looking out the window and seeing a lonely star that hardly can be seen in the sky because of the lights but he understands that some people will find the stray star delightful as it still shines in the sea of brightly lit sky, staying visible to those hoping souls who search for themselves in the darkness.

He understands that he is that too, a star in the light, remembering that luck is infinite and universe is wide enough for everyone. Maybe he should stop asking why he is lucky enough to have this goodness but what thing he can do to give them back to the world because kindness should not be finite, it can be shared. He lifts himself up, now in sitting position before turning to Bright, "Thank you," once again he muttered, thank you for making me understand my worth.

He stands up and offer his hand to Bright, "Let's go for a walk," he grins. He wants to savor this moment, a moment where he knows that every dot in the world matters, no matter how good or bad. A sinner can change and a saint can too but right now he wants to live as he is, not caring for the future or the truth of the world. Insecurities will linger in the back of his head but life is good, and he feels good and he worthy of this. Bright accepts his hand, letting himself getting pulled and walking down the hallway to the door, life is good to me too and if the happiness will gone if his is gone then I'm willing to endure it, he thinks to himself silently, smiling as the boy in front of him found the confidence he needs.

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I am suck at ending my chapters hahahahahaha so yeah I found this youtube channel yesterday and it helped me sleep so I think why not make a fanfic based on it? I'm currently writing chapter 15 but I made some stops along the way because writer's block is brutal so no it is not finish yet but I am happy to announce that my SPM result is good(at least for me) and my english is fine so yeah I am happy😊😊 but sadly one of my phone broke so yeah I am sad for that.

This is also based on an interview(i think?) that Bright said Win has his insecurity too but eh I think this collection is more of me venting and projecting my feelings on Win(sorry😢😢)

Anyway thank you for reading!! Your votes and comments are highly appreciated too! Love you guys and stay safe😘😘