Silence

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It's loud, very loud. Everything is so loud yet he feels rather empty— quiet— silent?.. or.. is it lonely? Is that it? Is he feeling lonely?

He cannot understand, can't even pinpoint a specific reason for him to feel so. He is surrounded by friends, by people he loves but everything is like disconnected, suffocating—— too much. It's like he is drowning in noises, in a sea of life but he can't breathe. Well, he can, but something is wrong but nothing is wrong. Not really anxiety and not exactly paranoia but he just feels empty. He feels lost with his feelings and everything.

Like he can't feel the happiness, which is weird because he is always the life of parties, gatherings and get-togethers. He is the sunshine——their sunshine.

Or so they said.

He's tired. Tired of those loud noises, tired of this crowd.. tired of this feeling. A feeling that makes him want to puke but he continues to smile, acting like everything is okay and stop when no one will realize.

That's it until a hand touches his.

"Hey do you want to leave?" a voice no higher than a whispery shout, not loud enough for anyone else to hear it at least.

He parts his lips but nothing comes out, only a heavy breath with an equally heavy confusion. But he can't leave yet, he's not the type to leave early. At least not when Bright is here with him.

"Can we?" he said, once he got his voice back. He turns his head, looking into his lover's eyes.

The other now full on grasp his hand, pressing their palms together, "Of course we can, we can call my driver if you want to right now," Bright replies with a smile.

"No.. let's walk,"

They bid their goodbyes to their friends, excusing themselves with 'Win's not feeling well' kind of excuse. They let the pair go and asked Win to take care of himself——and Bright to take care of Win.

"Do you want to get ice-cream? Or boba?" the older asked him. They have been walking for at least 10 minutes before deciding they want to roam the city of Bangkok first, it's a big city of course, but the downtown is loud and full of life which makes Win wants to walk for a bit.

They got boba, despite Bright's silent protest. He never likes those kind of sweet things so he got himself a simple milk tea while Win ordered a mango smoothie with popping strawberry boba.

He knows Win is feeling off so hopefully boba can help him.

Somehow walking for 30 minutes didn't satisfy Win and he requested to go to a park, and thankfully it's a quiet place.

And that's how two 6ft men ended up on the swings, sitting and swaying but not talking. They are engulfed by silence, not even trying to break the quietness of the night. 

"Today is weird. Sorry," it's half-hearted, Win is not really sorry feeling like this. He's sorry that he dragged Bright into whatever this is.

Bright laughs, not mockingly but more out of surprise kind of laugh. "I don't need your sorry.. you just seem so lost in that club and I can't take it,"

"I just want you to be okay," a truth, spilled from Bright's lips

Win doesn't know what to say, doesn't know if he has the mental capacity to reply to that but if he can tell the partial truth, not the full truth yet as he doesn't know what it is, it will lessen Bright's worry.

Parted lips- silence- a sigh then the truth.

"I feel lonely? I know I shouldn't but I just do? It's stupid,"

A hum fill the air, his reply from Bright. "It's not stupid. It's a human thing,"

Bright can't do this here, he's not a man of words, he can't hug the sadness away right now.

Bright looks at Win, for the first time since they reached the park, and he observes. He notices how the twinkle it Win's eyes gone. It's not common but it's also not rare, Win is a human after all. Human tends to lose liveliness.

And his presence is also quiet, muted more likely. It's like he is chained by something that is unknown to both of them. And Bright hates it, it's not a comfortable silence after all.

"How about we go home? We might get sick if we stay out here longer," Win says, the chill of night's air at last caught up to him and it won't do any better for Bright too as they both only wear simple short sleeved shirts.

Bright says nothing but he stands up, contrary to Win who is still sitting on the swing, eyes up to the sky watching the moon. Bright moves to the front of Win, tugging him out of the swing and holds his hand tight. God, he should have done this when they walked just now, fuck the fans if they see them holding hands. Win is more important than a rumor than can be shrugged of easily.

It warms Win's heart a little, a salvation for his suffocated lungs. It somehow helps him breathe a bit better. He smiles for real for the first time that night.

It's a chilly night, it's dark even but the warmth of the other's hand reminds him that maybe the lonely road is not so lonely after all.


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Actually this is supposed to be sweet fluffy fic but my I got caught up by my low self-esteem. Sorry guys if it seems confusing, sometimes my brain likes to mixed things up.

Anyway I just like the song so it's not really related to the story itself hahah but the vibe is the kinda the same so that's that. Thank you for reading 😊



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