Anything and Everything Under the Sun

no one asked for this

anyway here are some quality reviews I wrote for some movies I watched as a kid. For context, these movies had the absolute worst animation and were just kind of terrible. Funny, but terrible (much like my fanfiction lol). anywho

(Snow White and the Magic Mirror) (Irene Cara is associated with this one somehow?)

While I usually avoid movies with this much homoerotic subtext, I decided to give it a go, and boy did it come through. The excellent characters, animation, songs, and overall brilliance of this film made it a joy to watch. I often turn the soundtrack on in the background at dinner parties and such and find it very soothing. When I am frequenting someone else's establishment and therefore a guest myself, I often take it upon myself to put everyone else at ease by standing up and belting out a rousing round of such classic songs such as the queen's number "I Feel Like Being Beautiful." Fellow guests often remark on the frequency and volume of these little mid-dinner concerts; I think they enjoy them as much as I do! This film is truly a work of art and I think I can just about quote every word of it by now. What can I say, I love this movie! It's just as my fourth wife used to say, "there are no cultures without wit, and no lovers without sailors!" In short, this film was excellent and you have no excuse not to watch it!

you're welcome. also

(The Secret of Anastasia)

This is the best movie I have ever seen. The Godfather was nothing compared to this. The Christian theme was so subtle that even my grandmother didn't notice it, and yet robust morals and obvious charm is evident throughout the film. My whole family was enraptured by it. We were on the edge of our seats the entire time. And to say nothing of great sex appeal of the villain! My grandmother nearly fainted twice and had to leave the room! The musical numbers sounded as though they had been written by angels! Whenever one comes on, we attach the Bluetooth speaker, and the entire house is filled with divine songs such as "In the Sun" and "Prince Charmless." The entire film was of the highest quality imaginable. Babbleen (my 9th child ;), has sworn she will play this movie on her wedding night. Steven Spielberg is quaking in his felt-tipped boots. There is absolutely nothing that can compare with the masterpiece that is this movie.

Anyway sorry for inflicting this on you, I just needed to document it somehow. salutations fair noodles