something beautiful | komahina au

the truth

hajime's pov

I woke up to see Nagito cuddling with me, his face flushed and soft-breaths escaping his lips. I slowly pecked his forehead, moving his middle bang out the way as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Wake up, Ko..." I said, shaking his shoulder a bit. I sat up, getting a full view of the sleepy albino. I couldn't help but smile at him lovingly.

"Mmph... Hajime..." He murmured, rubbing his eyes as he sat up.

"Ohh, you finally said my name.." I teased, getting up. Nagito couldn't do anything but flick my forehead in response, us both giggling.

I eventually got up to go get dressed and do my hygiene, putting on my uniform. A black suit, bland as always.

I saw Nagito stumble to get up, steadily walking to grab his clothes. I chuckled, looking back down at the sink.

The memories of last night rushed in my head. It could have been me going too rough, or he's just really sleepy- but I shook my head, trying to think about something else.

Yet... all I could think about was him- not even during sex- just, his eyes, his smile, all the times we laughed together- I loved him, a lot. I was just afraid to fully show it to the world- and I hated that feeling. I never even told Nanami. I never came out either.

Nagito had walked out, dressed in his cream-colored suit. I saw him grabbing something from his bag, some kinda travel-sized thing for vitals. I cocked my head, peeking over the door as he put it in his bag.

He put some kinda pills in his mouth, swallowing it without drinking. I walked over to the sink and filled a glass with water, walking back over to Nagito and crouched down, handing it to him. I heard a quiet gasp escape his lips.

"It's bad to take pills without water..." I muttered, looking down to the bottles. I couldn't tell what they were for.

"Ah- thanks, Hina..." He said- taking a sip of the water. I put on my shoes as I did so.

I felt the words escape my mouth.

"Could I ask... what are those for..?"

His face saddened a bit. "Just some anti-depressants and other things.. it's fine."

I looked at him, straight into his eyes.

"What do you mean by other?"

I grasped onto his hand, softly rubbing his thigh to make him feel better. I don't know what it was, but I wanted to fix him no matter what. I wanna make him feel happy and-

"I have dementia, Hajime." He said, trembling and tightening his grip.

"What..?" I said- frozen in place. I wasn't familiar with the term, but I heard it was life-threatening.

He cried- more than he ever did before, clenching his eyes closed as he tilted down his head.

His words choked from his sobs.

"I-It's frontotemporal an-d the doctor said I had two to ten y-years-- I'm sorry, I'm sorry-I'm sorry- I-"

Before I could even think, I swiftly pulled the albino into an embrace, running my fingers through his hair.

"K-Ko- you could've told me this sooner- you need proper treatment, there's nothing to be sorry for.. please calm down-" I said, slightly trembling myself. I felt my tears run down without even noticing as I repeatedly kissed his forehead.

"Hajime... I love you.. I just-"

He shook his head and kissed me, getting up and almost limping, running out the dorm, slamming the door. I heard a slam on the wall- but I felt like I was frozen- time becoming paralyzed and still. Yet, I shook myself out of it and ran out the door.

I ran as fast as I could, but I looked back to see my lover, slid down on the wall with his knees to his face. He was trying to pull his hair with his hands.

I ran back up to him, pinning his hands to the wall as I looked into his eyes again. He looked surprised, but his cheeks were stained with tears as he looked back up at me.

"Ko. Please just tell me what's going on. I want to help you. You know I love you.."

He sighed, clenching onto my hand.

"Thank you.. Hajime.." He muttered.

I smiled reassuringly. "How about we skip school today? I'm sure Ms. Yukizome won't mind."

"But what about you? You actually have to study and-"

I stopped him as I chuckled and got up, letting go of him and reaching out my hand. "It's fine, I'll catch up- don't worry about it."

He hesitated, but nodded and let me help him up as we went back into the dorm.

I dressed into more comfortable clothes, hoping that any of the other Main Course students didn't notice me earlier.

I walked up to Nagito- in the middle of taking his shirt off as I started kissing on his neck, my hands sliding to his waist. He flinched, partly melting into my touch. I smiled as he resumed, softly nudging me away.

I kept going, as I dug deeper until he squeaked softly. "H-ajime~ Not right now.."

I chuckled and let go, trying to help him find some clothes as he was getting out of his uniform. I grabbed some kind of band t-shirt by the name of 'Mother Mother' and some black shorts. I handed them to him, as I sat myself onto the bed, getting on my phone.

I hesitantly typed into google: 'Frontotemporal Dementia.'

Thus, a definition came along.

Frontotemporal dementia
FTD, a common cause of dementia, is a group of disorders that occur when nerve cells in the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain are lost. This causes the lobes to shrink. FTD can affect behavior, personality, language, and movement.

Symptoms
With FTD, unusual or antisocial behavior as well as loss of speech or language are usually the first symptoms. In later stages, patients develop movement disorders such as unsteadiness, rigidity, slowness, twitches, muscle weakness or difficulty swallowing.

I frowned, putting it into my notes. I could ask the Ultimate Nurse- or the Ultimate Psychiatrist.

Treatment
There's currently no cure or specific treatment for FTD. Drugs used to treat or slow Alzheimer's disease don't seem to be helpful for people with frontotemporal dementia, and some may worsen the symptoms.

"No.. no no no- they're ultimates, they can make one, right? Google doesn't know everything, so I'm sure there's a way. There has to be."

I snapped out of my thoughts as I felt Nagito laying down on my lap, pulling the sheets over us. I chuckled as I pet the cloud-like hair. He put on some 'chill music' in the background as he fell asleep. I smiled, my eyes watering as I held him close. I never wanted him to leave me, not like this.