Princess Without Limits

Chapter Nine

(Lena)

I just stared. All I did was to stare at my hands, trying desperately to feel the warmth of those soft, gentle male hands on them again. Trying to feel his beautiful sky blue eyes again. Nothing. I sighed, lying on my bed and covering my eyes with my arm. This evening took a toll on my energy.

I distracted myself from Gion, thinking about Leon instead. His harsh face lined up with a frown that screamed his dislike for me. Maybe I should even consider the word 'hatred'. His grey eyes that portrayed all the bitter words he didn't dare say.

We used to be so happy. Back when I was six and him seven. I used to run my hand through his soft light brown hair that had a black undercut. He would laugh and laugh while we made up tales of the forgotten to satisfy our creativity. I would join him in heaps on the grass soon after.

He took after our father, the relentless looks that fitted the future king. I took after Mother, her wild looks that portrayed a face of a woman who never thought all that she discovered was good enough for her. Who yearned for more of everything. Who never stopped discovering. My mother was an untamed bird, always flying free, until she met a lion—if that is how you described the sternness and seriousness of Father— who ensnared her into his grasp, grounding her. Mother changed so much since her days as an explorer. Her shoulder-length hair had grown to her waist, being suited for styling many hairstyles that displayed the majesty of a queen.

I didn't want to be like her though, I'd always wanted to be that fluttery bird until I found someone who could soar with me through the untamed skies.

Fool, I was always a fool. I had thought that maybe, maybe if I continued Mother's path, I could be happy, and still satisfy Father's demands, making my family proud. All I did was to drag their names through the mud. All I did was disappoint them. The limitations, the restrictions of being a German princess were slowly suffocating me. I wanted to push through it, but I couldn't, I could never, not without disapproval. I thought back to one of the old stories I used to discuss with Leon. Those good old times.