The Truth About Singularity

Prologue

sin·gu·lar· I ·ty

/ˌsiNGɡyəˈlerədē/

noun: singularity

1.

The state, fact, quality, or condition of being singular. "He believed in the singularity of all cultures."

2.

PHYSICS•MATHEMATICS

a point at which a function takes an infinite value, especially in space-time when matter is infinitely dense, as at the center of a black hole.

3.

KAI: "He believes he is trapped in singularity; he makes no attempt to escape."

2/1/2023

In poetry, life always seems to be glorified by those who write it. In turn, the readers or listeners take this glorified description of the world and use it to print out these rose-colored lenses. As we get older, our perception changes and our lenses fade to dust as we see the world for what it actually is. Cruel and colorless. Dull and gray. But still, if we keep working towards happiness, then once in a blue moon, we might just see that pink color again; maybe then we can grasp on to it. That's what people believe anyway. It's like a drug for them, anything to see the slightest bit of pink again. That color we took for granted as kids.

We keep working ourselves to death, trying to reach it. We're all chasing the high. Thinking that good grades or high pay will help. Drinking and taking drugs, anything to get away from this ghastly reality. I've never had rose-colored glasses. I never got the chance. I've always seen the world for what it is, absolutely disgusting. It's just a broken record of sayings that we're told.

"Do this and do that, and then you'll be happy."

"Go to school, do well, and then go to another. Then another and another. Then get a good job work until you drop just to move up and get a harder one. Work yourself until you're drowning in green paper. You'll be happy then. Make your parents happy first you'll be happy then. Happy wife, happy life, you'll be happy then. Your kids will be your pride and joy; I promise you'll be happy then! Retirement, retirement! Well, of course, you'll be happy then...Oh...death. Well, you're in a happier place now."

Those glimmers of pink are just a mirage. I'm glad I saw it from the start—a broken record. Life is just a broken record. It almost makes me happy that I can't go outside. It almost makes me happy that I can't feel. Trapped and numb and spinning on a broken record. What a beautifully horrific melody.

ag·o·ra·pho·bi·a

/ˌaɡərəˈfōbēə/

noun

1.

extreme or irrational fear of entering open or crowded places, of leaving one's own home, or of being in places from which escape is difficult.

2.

KAI: agoraphobic

When my parents figured out what was wrong with me, they pretended not to be overjoyed. But I could hear their excitement through closed doors.

Description: CIP Congenital insensitivity to pain is a condition that inhibits the ability to perceive physical pain. From birth, affected individuals never feel pain in any part of their body when injured.

It sounds like a superpower, but it's more like a curse. I remember looking up at my friends after falling and laughing. They all back away from me and eventually ran away. It wasn't until I got home that I realize I had knocked out three baby teeth and had blood pooling down my face dripping onto my shirt. I was the freaky kid that couldn't feel. I was the kid that bullies loved claiming that they would hurt me however bad just to make me feel something. And I applaud them for trying, but it never worked.

My doctor said that having agoraphobia could be good for me; it meant I would be less likely to die because of my CIP this way. I don't think doctors are supposed to say things like that but whatever...My parents were happy because they thought I would be safe, and apparently, being safe equals being happy. But I don't think I'm happy at all.

Well, even if I was, I don't think I would recognize the symptoms.