My Mr Mafia

Ill have to forgive you

Lea i have to go to work leo
is waiting for me ills see you later ok

I hear him say as he walks out and i yell to him"ok bye my love i love you luca!"and there is no answer i look down and wait for his answer i hear the door close and i try to fall back asleep

I just cant i wonder why he didnt answer me I get up and get into the shower i take off my clothes and put them into the laundry bin and hear someone knocking at the door and i wrap the towel around me and turn off the shower

I open the door and there is leo i thought he was meeting luca in the lounge

"hey leo what are you doing here"i ask while i slightly hide behind the door considering luca would probably be looking for him and would wanna kill me if he saw me in a towl with leo here

"hey is luca here i just want to see if hes ok after last night"he says and i remember him stumbling in and being angry then being loveable i smile to that thought then look back at leo

"yea he stumbled in here last night and told me what happened And yea im upset but i know he knew what he was doing"i say i trust luca knew why he was drinking im sure its just work related

"yea but justbso you know lea she didnt mean anything to him it just happened"those words he says while scratching his head

What did he just say my heart feels like its being literally sucker into nothingness it physically hurts who is she and why would luca do this no this cant be ill just ask him maby it was her who did it

"yea thnx anyway luca is waiting for you downstairs to get to work"i say as i want to close the door

before i can he starts looking confused and says"there isnt any work today there wasnt this whole week lea thats why we didnt see luca the entire week we thought he was with you"he says and my blood feels like its cold my heart feels like its going to stop beating

hes Getting blurry everything is Getting blurry why is the ground moving closer and now everything is black shit

....

"princess wake up are you ok what happened"he asks and i look down i have clothes on wow i mustve forgotten Putting them on

"luca?"i ask and look up to see him staring at me i get up angry as hell and confront him about the girl and where hes been all week

"what happened with that girl last night luca?!"i ask and shock stoke his face oh my gosh i cant fucking believe this luca of all people

"what girl?"he says and i can hear the lies in his voice hes lying he never lies i dont think he ever has luca why are you lying my love

"please dont lie to me luca i know everything you dont have to lie to me its better if you tell the truth i can still forgive you for that then but i can never forgive you for lying my love please just tell me?"i ask nearly begging i want to know what happened i know luca this isnt like him

"okay" he pauses for a few seconds looking down at the ground "yes its true i was with Another girl last night"tears fill my eyes and i stutter before i can ask the next question

"why?"i ask turning around and puting my hand around my mouth trying not to cry

"lea..."
"why! Luca" i yell and wait for him to answer my back still turned to him

"because i lost the spark feelings i had for us it feels like we are not as close anymore"he says and i run to the room and lock the door be bangs on the door and i sit down i hear him sitting too

"and this week?"i ask choking back more tears Leaning my head back against the door to hear him

"with her"he says and i hear how his voice breaks as he says that he cant fucking be serious what the fuuuuuuckkkkk!!!!

my eyes fill with tears and they run down my face faster then ever how can he do this to me whats wrong with him

No spark does that mean he doesnt love me anymore i need to know i have to ask him rather to assume

"do you still love me"i ask sniffing as i wipe my tears from my swolen tired eyes

"yes lea ill always love you i just dont feel like our feelings are as strong as they were in the beginning"he says and i throw my head backwards hitting it against the door i cant handle the pain

He cant do this to me again he hurts me and evry single time i forgive him ive forgiven him enough hes making my life hard and easy at the same time

i love him so much and i dont want to loose him but he cant keep doing this to me he almost got me killed not to mention this all started with him kidnapping me who does that

My eyes are finally open and my mind finally clear i love him but i know its time for us to come apart i cant be hurt all the time

"luca please leave me alone"i say and walk towards the shower and closing the door behind me i pull out a small box i put into my pocket before luca came here

I open it and pull out a cigarette i take out a lighter and light it up this is the first time im smoking my first cigarette Since my friends accident

i inhale the smoke and i take it bit for bit the smoke is strong and i cant smoke so much at the first time starting again i start taking bigger strokes of the cigarette

Yep defnintly what i need right now theres nothing in this world like a headrush from a cigarette when you have nothing else left to loose