Together (Todobakudeku x BlackFem!Reader)

✨Dollface✨

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of abuse, substance misuse, RAPE, and mature themes and content will be present. SPECIAL CHAPTER/ CROSS POV between Dabi and Lota. If u can, plz play the song as you read for optimum effect of chapter. 

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LOTA POV 

I was slipping in and out of consciousness, my mind stuck between the memories of the past and now. I don't know when or where I am, I just know I feel nothing, my mind still calculating, still trying to find the discoveries that I missed, planning my way out of this...I was slipping back into the past of today, where this shit began... 

FLASHBACK BEGINS
~7 hrs before hand~

Lota is in her office, starring at herself in the mirror that appeared out of thin air, the spirit telling her she looks pretty, Enchantress popping out of the water to give her two sense.
"What do you see?" 
"The scar he left me." 
"Don't pick up the phone."
"You know I could never ignore him, he needs...me."
"He's hit you repeatedly, he's sent you to the hospital eight times, your in a stable beautiful relationship with 3 amazing guys who adore you, still haven't met them by the way-" 
"I know , I know I know don't remind me." 
"Bitch you need reminding." 
"I know." I say softly and take a deep breath before picking up the phone, eyes closed.

"Hello Dabi."
"Hello dollface." His rough, deep, and raspy voice fills my ears and apart of me stirs, love and rage twining into flame until it's a living breathing thing in my chest.
Shit, I'm a mess.
"Why are you calling me?" I breath out, teeth clenched as i hyperventilate. 
I'm seeing red.
He calls me like it's nothing, like he did nothing.
Like everything fine.
I thought these feelings had died but they didn't. 
Here they are like a sleeping beast, yawning awake as she cracks her eyes open, rage laced in her movements. As I stare at the girl in the mirror I see the past me, 17 broken and bleeding.
"Damn doll face, you don't have to be so harsh-" 
"Nigga I'm harsh because the last time you saw me you tried to burn me alive. So yeah, I'm harsh." 
"You know I didn't mean it-" 
"Motha fucka I don't care if you didn't mean-" 
"You act like your innocent but where the same-" 
"We are NOT the same-" 
"Oh yeah, ur high school friends wldn't say the same." He growled over the phone and it was like I was punch in the gut... I know he didn't just take it there.
"Your a bastard-" 
"Lota I didn't mean-" 
"U ALWAYS SAY U DON'T MEAN IT BUT U DO IT REPEATEDLY!" 
"Lota please, just- listen to me." 
"Why would I listen to anything you have to say? I've heard it all before! "Oh lota baby you know I love you, Oh Lota dollface you know I didn't mean it. Or Doll face you made me hit you-" 
"Please Lota I'm sorry but this is urgent-" 
"WHAT'S SO URGENT YOU HAVE TO CALL ME-" 
"Just meet me on XXX street." 
"Why wld I-" 
"Please." He says roughly, and something about the way he says please... he's pleading and the quaking wrathful Goddess in me steps back as the girl, no women, that is Lotachucwu steps forward.
"What time Dabi." 
"Now, please hurry." 
I hang up and close my eyes, not watching my strength and my phone breaks and I curse softly.
"GAIA is everything okay-" 
"Yes Enchantress." 
"Are you sure- OH MY GOD!" She exclaims as she sees the plants around me dying, the water turning inky black and my security system turns into her other self, the ruthless Goddess Circe.... killer of men.
"No one steps foot in my office or leaves alive." I tell her softly as I drop the ruined phone to the ground as my office floor turns black as plants die, revealing my feelings.
I suppress my feelings.
No it's not healthy but for a time it was.
I started doing it when I was 17, it was the first time I had trusted men to save me but they never showed up.
I was at Shiketus High, I was the girl with the wide smile, developed hips and thighs, and a special twinkle in her eyes. I was unique because instead of being pale I had dark cremey skin and yes my waist was thin but my hips were wide and I curved like the world and my mamma said I had a women body. I walked as if diamonds sprang from my feet, well that's because they did, and I had a world of confidence. And some of my classmates saw that and wanted to break me. A group of girls, pale skin and super thin, called me gorgeous and said that I was a literal queen, hyping me up. But then they led me to the bathroom and locked me in, and I was faced with slurrs written on the walls and three males in the bathroom. They said they'd been watching me for a while, how I teased them each time I smiled and each time my hips swang. They said I was a pretty lil thang, I was pretty for a black girl and how I'd be their first nigger to dominate.
I wasn't a white boys play thing.
Because these weren't asians but pure white boys whose families moved to Japan for business.
They concerned me, and i heard giggling from outside the door some of the girls saying they were waiting for my scream.
What they didn't know was that they were fucking with a Queen.
Nah, they were messing with a Deity.
But I didn't pay attention, no I didn't because they knew my weakness.... Salt.
Salt was dangerous to a person like me because apart of my quirk is spiritual, so any ritual can harm me.
They backed me in a corner of salt and put iron around me, canceling out my quirk and they all held me down, or I was fighting back but then they stuck a iron needle in me, paralyzing me and as they ripped off my skirt and forced themselves on me, I didn't make a sound.
I didn't give them the satisfaction of hearing me plead and scream.
And as they fucked me, wrath was filling my belly.
Wrath of a Goddess, of a thousand women with a song of pain and rage and hate.
And when they were done, they took pictures and laughed at me.
Threatened to expose me for the slut I am if I told. 
Oh.... but they didn't know.
I was going to kill them all.
James and Shindo found me and I told them everything.
When I told mom and dad they said they were calling the school they said they'd sue, charge them with rape.
But rape implies that a power or something was taken from me.
Yes I lost my virginity, but did they really take power from me? 
I switched schools, that's how I ended up in U.A, but each day I thought of the giggles.
Thought of the boys that had the audacity to defile my body.
I went on a killing spree.
That's how I met Dabi.
I was 17 to his 19 and he found me about to murder one of those puny mortal bastards but I guess he saw that if I killed... I wouldn't stop killing.
So he did it for me.
Your not a killer dollface.
You don't know me.
I don't have to, I can smell the goodness on you. You reek of it but if you ever wanna join my team, you know where to find me.
After that day, I went home and I couldn't sleep.
I was cold for weeks, but I didn't feel cold not when molten rage pooled in my core, but my mamma brought me back from the dark place I was descending. She knew what I tried to do and told me she thought about it too. 
Said I had the wrath of not just a Goddess in me.
But God in me.
She reminded me of my name.
Lotachucwu, Remember God.
That's when I went on my spiritual journey.
I tried to move on and forget about him, but I couldn't... He... he had saved me.
I tried dating, Shinso was perfect but...
He wasn't Dabi.
No one was Dabi.
I thought Dabi got me, I thought he understood me. 
That was 6 years ago. 
And I dated him for three.
In those three years that man managed to learn all my strengths and weakness. He managed to carve his home in my heart, I learned things about him that I'm sure he'd take to the grave. I thought we were fine, that we had everything....
I began to date Keigo (Hawks) in my twenties, having met him through Dabi. 
Turns out Dabi was cheating on me with him, and I wanted to hurt him so bad but... Keigo was so damn charming and he... made our relationship feel complete. But as I started to grow, dig deeper into my hero work and spirituality, Dabi felt like he was losing me. He became violent towards both of us, he was never satisfied and the man I fell in love with was slowly fading from me. And when I met my men, my babies....they showed me that love could be different. To the outside world, I was this shinning becoan of hope and light, always smiling, always happy. 
The universe is speaking the universe is speaking.... 
But on the inside, hidden and burried deep, was rage....and Dabi no Touya Todoroki was the only being that could push me to that point....
But he was also the only being who had me, A goddess on a leash, and so if he said come...
I came...