Stargazing

Chest to chest

1978

Natalie has gone out for the first time since Cassi was born. Nancy invited her for a Christmas dinner with Matthew and Tony. Despite leaving for only three hours, she was quite stressed and couldn't stop thinking about how Cass is doing (or rather how Sirius and Remus manage). They were supposed to feed her and put her down on a nap, Easy task, they will be fine. She reminded herself, trying to enjoy the meeting to the fullest.
As she entered the flat, the perfect silence hit her ears. This could be a good and a bad sign at the same time. While taking her jacket off, she noticed an empty bottle on the table.

At least she ate.

Cassiopeia's and Nat's bedrooms were empty so she gently opened the door to Remus' bedroom and peeked inside.
The boys were sleeping next to each other breathing slowly. Sirius on his back shirtless, with Remus' hand thrown over him and Cassi. The little girl slept on her father, covered with a crocheted blanket Mrs. Potter gifted her. A weird feeling hit Nat so she left the room to make herself a tea. As she put the kettle on, Remus showed up, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

"Sorry Nat..." he whispered, sitting at the table

"It's your room, I shouldn't have entered" she said, smiling to him

It's been three months and she could still hear Sirius' voice running around her head 'we're together, like, you know, boyfriends'. She always thought about herself as a tolerant person. She didn't care who slept with who. But when she had to face living with two gays, one of them being her baby daddy, everything turned out to be a bit more complicated. She tried understanding them but failed miserably. How is it possible for two men to love each other? It just felt wrong. She's always pictured homosexuals as those teenagers at gay clubs- horny, sweaty and drunk. For her it was only a weird fetish. Until today. Seeing them cuddle so peacefully changed something in her.
She asked them to not show too much affection around her and after a while, she regretted it more and more. Would she say that to Nancy and Matt? For sure not. Is she really a tolerant and good person if someone's love bothers her?

"Cassi didn't want to fall asleep so we tried methods from this parenting book of yours." Remus said, bringing her back to reality "Chest to chest worked, as you saw" he smiled, pleased "I didn't mean to sleep with them..." he stopped mid sentence and looked out of the window, deeply thinking. His eyes were fixed on one spot and he tapped nervously with his fingers. He took a deep breath and looked at the girl. "Listen, I know you're uncomfortable with us being together but-"

"Uh don't even remind me" she groaned embarrassed, hearing her own words. Remus frowned slightly and sighed. It was a rough time for them. Talking about tv shows and serving each other tea was the top of their interactions for last few months. Time to change it. She sat in front of him and cupped his hands

"I'm sorry for what I said. I really regret it. I don't mind you showing affection, really. You both deserve to be happy and I realised how much I hurt you. It's just... I never knew a gay, it was a new situation for me back then and I guess I panicked a bit. Please, forgive me Remus."
As he squeezed her hands slightly, she finally gained courage to look at him.

"It's okay." he nodded and leaned back in his chair. He sat quietly for a minute with an unreadable expression "You didn't panic much. Sirius was worse" Moony chuckled suddenly shaking his head "he wouldn't cuddle under the covers for a solid half a year because 'it's queer'" he made a quote sign in the air with his fingers.

"You should've scolded me right here and there. My reaction was terrible." Natalie laughed, enjoying the new atmosphere between them.

"Trust me, I wanted to!" he nodded "But Pads wouldn't let me. He's such a people pleaser."

"Is he?"

"He was literally about to propose and get married with you on the day we finished school" her eyes widened and she almost choked on her tea.

"I mean, he's handsome... and rich but..." she shook her head seeing Sirius heading their way "That's so stupid!"

"I know! Who would want to marry him at free will? Good look's not everything!" Remus laughed standing from the table "Hi honey, did you sleep well?" he pulled Sirius closer and kissed him on the lips. The feeling returned and Natalie looked away. Was she jealous?

"Remus!" the black haired man pushed him back and looked at Natalie, who was smiling slightly, trying to hide her nervousness.

"I'm gonna get a bit more cuddles before Little Miss starts crying for a boob again. Oh and Pads, Nat wants to tell you something." he said and left the living room almost skipping.

"What is it darling?" Sirius sat next to her and tilted his head. He did it every time he looked her in the eyes.

"I wanted to apologise... I wasn't supportive when it came to your relationship-"

"Did Moony tell you something? Don't worry about him, you're a mother of my child, you deserve to feel comfortable in your own house."

Natalie realised how right Remus was and she let a slight laugh slip out of her mouth.

"Bollocks! Firstly, it's your flat. Secondly, stop trying to please me and think about your boyfriend's feelings for once! Is it true you wanted to get married just because I got pregnant? We didn't even knew each other and you had a boyfriend at the time!"

Sirius blinked fast, crossing his hands on his chest

"Well, I am sorry for being responsible and wanting my daughter to have a happy life with a proper family."

"Oh baby... All she needs is love and support and not married parents who were forced to be together."

"I don't know if you knew, Natalie, but I only know set up marriages."

The woman sighed and wrapped her hands around Sirius hugging him slightly

"I'm sorry. All I wanted to say is that sometimes it's okay to prioritise yourself and that I want to see you and your boyfriend happy. I want our home to feel safe, okay?"

"You're not afraid, Cassi's going to be like- like her father? I've heard people say-"

"You mean she's gonna like boys like everyone in this household? I don't mind."

Sirius chuckled and hugged Natalie back "Our girl is so lucky to have such an intelligent mom. I wish mine was like you." he kissed her head and smiled friendly "How was your meeting? To be honest, you could have stayed there longer. We did perfectly fine all alone!"

"I'm very proud of you then, boys" she whispered, deciding to ignore Mary's hat lying next to the couch.