140AD - The Rise to Empress || [GxG] ||

Chapter 34

Day passed by day, and days turned to weeks and eventually into a full month. Rome was experiencing explicit peace for the first time in a long time and most importantly, there were absolutely no signs of war in sight. The city's heart was always violently beating during the day and at night it simmered down, about as peaceful as the breathing of someone in slumber.

But in Lexa's case, restful nights came at a price she was unable to pay. What the price was though, she didn't know but it seemed to be insatiable. She tossed and turned most nights, having dreams of Egypt, or nightmares rather. From slaughtering men that had no fighting ability to watching them burn as if they were nothing. And finally, killing Jake.

Under normal circumstances, a soldier would feel regret for killing their Emperor, but Lexa couldn't care any less about his status. Her issue was that her circumstances were far from normal and Jake's death looms over her because he was the father of the woman she loves. His connotations to her personal life were the issue, and deep down Lexa feared that Clarke would never really forgive her for it, no matter what she says, or how much she 'understood'.

Lexa feared that Clarke might loathe her for it someday.

Moreover, she was haunted by the men that looked her in the eye the moment they breathed out their last breath, or those that begged her for mercy. Unfortunately for them, she learned early on in battle that there was no place for mercy. Mercy was the accompanying name of betrayal and or death. Spare one life and it will return the following battle just to attempt to end you again.

Perhaps all these men weren't the root of her nightmares, but rather her father, Maximus. Lexa wondered if he too begged for mercy the day of the attack in Polis, and if whoever drove their blade through him last killed with the same ideals as she had in Egypt.

Mercy was for the weak and uneducated.

On some night Lexa woke in cold sweats, frantically sitting up in bed, reaching for the dagger beneath her pillow and thrusting it into the darkness of night. But just like all the other times ... there was nobody. Only Clarke that immediately sits up and wraps her arms around Lexa from behind, muttering soothing words close to her ear. Always something along the lines of that she just had a nightmare again, or that she was safe and okay.

It was embarrassing each time, to the point where Lexa eventually started to leave and sleep somewhere else the moment Clarke dozed off. The Empress didn't deserve to be kept up all night; especially not when the problem at hand wasn't her fault.

Such went on for some time, never being mentioned when daytime would inevitably come again and both women would act like there was nothing wrong. That is until Lexa tries to slip out again but is stopped by a soft hand wrapping around her wrist.

"You can stay, you know? I know what you're trying to do, or avoid rather, but we can get through it, together. Whether you sleep out there and wake scared and alone, to if you sleep here and wake scared, it won't make a difference. But at least here I'm with you. Please, Lexa, just stay."

"Let me go. It's not fair of me to keep you awake. Please, my love. I don't want this to get to the point of where it becomes so bad that I hurt you in my sleep. I just ... just go back to sleep, Clarke."

When Lexa turns to leave again, hoping that the hand will let go of her, it only tightens and pulls her back harder. "You're not doing this on your own. And I'm afraid to tell you that you'll never be alone in anything again, sorry. I'm stubborn and you're not allowed to be more stubborn than me. So, whether you walk out of here now and go sleep in one of the guest rooms or on one of the chaises in the atrium, I'm coming with you."

Clarke undid her hold, grabbing one of the overthrow fur blankets as she got out of bed, wrapping it around herself in the process. "So? Where are we sleeping tonight? On a nice comfortable bed or under the stars in the atrium; I'm leaving it up to you. I'll be damned if you sleep anywhere alone tonight, or any other night again."