A Monster Was Born ✔️

A Heart's Desire

Ever since she was a little girl, Cathy has always been lonely. Nobody could understand her and she doesn't want to be understood. Thus, when she walks the hallways with teachers and students giggling and gossiping and whispering, she doesn't spare them a glance.

But still, her heart is empty and raw and she feels unhappy about her life. There's something missing from it, something that is draining her and making her feel useless at everything, but she is unsure what.

She has tried different things. She shoplifted, she asked guys on dates, and she bought pretty dresses online. The thrill shoplifting gave her ended in as little as three weeks, and she threw the stolen goods out her bedroom window, convinced she had no use of them. The guys she dated were boring and unintelligent and their words reminded her of children fumbling around in the dark. The dresses were nice, but she felt they didn't represent who she truly is, who she aspired to be, and so she threw those away also.

The darkness ate at her. She could not escape it. At night, they would be there, and their words would choke her until her life was just a thin line blowing in the wind. At school she would chat with her friends while feeling like an outsider who doesn't belong, whose existence was meaningless and dull.

Until one day, when it is the senior prom. The prom is like a dream to every girl, for it is so heavily romanticized in dramas and books its very existence feels like magic brought to life. It is the night to meet hot guys and forgotten friends and drink and drink until all is lost, until the nightmares and bad memories are all rendered hidden and locked away.

As the weeks went on, Cathy became more and more uneasy. All her closest friends got dates one by one and are talking about the prom in excited voices and hushed tones. However, one day when Cathy goes to open her locker, a slip of a note falls out and lands on the floor. An invitation, it reads. But the author is anonymous and says he will only reveal his identity on the day of the prom. She cautiously slips the note to her pocket and heads out to class.

She thinks about it everyday, as she draws doodles in the margin of her math notes, as she waits in the lunch line for a salad and a carton of milk. She wonders who it could be and her mind drifts off into daydreams and hopes she has never seen before. Maybe it was Josh, the school's champion math wiz, who threw a casual wink in her direction a week ago before he left for the competition. It might have been Lyon, whose sandy hair and tattoo made her blush with excitement when he gave his presentation in class. Or maybe...

On the day of the prom Cathy wears one of the dresses she created by hand, a silver gown with designs of faded night flowers, tied with gossamer silk threads. She's thrilled to be there and walks into the limelight with the lights dancing around her. She stands by a table carrying cookies and alcohol. Her date told her this is where they would meet and thus she began to wait.

She waits and waits, until the pitcher next to her is half drained, the cookies beside it dissolved into weightless crumbs.

"He's still not here yet?" Cathy's friend, Mareeya snickers. "Maybe he's playing the imaginary friend."

Cathy scowls in Mareeya's face. "He'll be here soon," she mutters to herself.

"Well, I'm going to the bathroom," Mareeya says, getting up. "Just so sick of this sh**t already."

And with that, she went off.

Suddenly, Cathy feels awkward and shy without her friend by her side and takes another sip of her drink. Since it looks like her date isn't going to show up, maybe it's better if she goes home.

Cathy feels a tap on her shoulder. Slowly, she turns around and her face becomes red. He stands there with glasses on his face and acne on his cheeks, his stance uncomfortable and his limbs long compared to the rest of his body. He looks up at her timidly and tries to smile, only Cathy thinks it is the most hideous thing she has ever seen.

She backs away and notices people beginning to turn their heads in their direction. Pretty soon, the entire room is silent and looking at them.

The boy glances at her, and his eyes are filled with adoration and embarrassment as he confesses. "Catherine, this might be weird to hear, but I've liked you ever since junior high. When we texted each other, I felt that you were the first person who is so easy to talk to. I don't understand why we stopped, but I really missed our chats, and well, I--"

But Cathy can't hear him, only the snickers and laughter coming from the people around her, the rumors spreading that the repulsive creature actually found a lover. The demons are here, and this time, Cathy is trapped. Even now, all she could focus on is the disgusting smell coming from his body, the red, tender bumps on his face like mosquito bites.

"So yeah, that's all I have to say. By the way, Catherine, you look beautiful---"

"Shut up."

It was a whisper, but then it became a shout. She glares at him in a look of utter loathing, her eyes filling with tears as she walks away from him. She carries with her bitter feelings she doesn't understand, and she could imagine the people gaping and messaging their friends, but she no longer cares.

For the first time, she feels free.