A Monster Was Born ✔️

Living Free (Part II)

He started from when he was in middle school. He never fit in with the other kids who laughed and teased, eagle eyes singling out blemishes, oddities within other students; who would subject them to taunts as though they deserved them. He avoided them and mostly succeeded, playing the invisible kid with glasses who couldn't be bothered.

Instead, when everyone was playing tag and jump rope, he observed the ants hidden behind a patch of daisies and the spiders that bounced around with them. At first, one might think they were becoming friends, that they were playing some secret game only they knew about. But then the spider would terrorize and consume. The innocents rendered dead. Hopes crushed, limbs torn apart. All while the spider feasts in glory. That's when, Yoru said, he understood that they were cruel like the humans were, creating joy from the stealing of it.

Then one day at school, everything changed. People, teachers and students alike gave him accusatory stares, as though he were a demon and not a boy. Monster, they whispered in those halls. Murderer. Son of devils. The kids who spent afternoons bullying their classmates with teases and taunts smirked at him, ducking away when he spared them a glance. You call me a devil? Yoru thought. It was so ironic he wanted to laugh. No, you. It's all of you.

Eventually, he couldn't last. The next day, officials arrived at their house to take them away. A camp, they told them. One with educational opportunities, one where your children would be taken care of. He should've known then what venomous liars they all were. As he closed his eyes to sleep that night, he remembered the bird, how the spider pounced on it to eat it, starting from that pink, tender flesh to those soft organs. He remembered his classmates who stabbed it when the spider was away, the laughs they carried into the night as blood spilled into the earth. It was such a horrible memory, yet Yoru couldn't stop marveling in the beauty of it, the completeness the scene had brought to his thoughts and imagination.

So was what happened after. Senseless slaughter, civilians getting raped and tossed and burned while they cried for mercy, all because some politician wished for more land, more soil to grow crops and make money. There were whispers of it everyday, used as examples of the devils they truly were, to show that their forced internment was indeed justified. It was right then that Yoru understood. And in his nightmares everyday since, the cherry blossoms were only soaked in blood and the laughter of the bullies grew into echoes that pierced his heart like knives.

So? The courtroom asked. What happened next? What's the reason for your crimes? What justice is there to be done regarding your story?

But Yoru only smiled. "That's it," He said, raising both hands, palms up. "I just want you to know that the only reason is because I had different life experiences than other people in this country. There was no 'crime' done, nor was there malice in my intentions. Moreover, my first amendment rights defend my actions that others have seemingly deemed a 'crime'".

Once again, the room bursted into whispers and shouts. Only this time, there was anger and fear within the crowd of spectators. The air around them was coated in a thin veil of violence.

"You mean to tell me," judgement's voice trembled. "That the reason why you wish to kill off the human race, why you wrote that atrocious news article advocating it, why you devoted your life to find what you call 'the cure to all existence' is because you saw some spider eat a bird?"

"Sir," Yoru said. "There's no...exact, definite reason for why I did what I did. If I were to ask you why you love your wife, why you like the warmth of the sun, you probably wouldn't be able to give a good answer either. All I'm asking is for you to understand. From that day on all I could see in our future, the future for humanity, is violence and bloodshed, hatred and terror. There's no need to subject our children and our children's children to that type of world. If the curse of existence must lie somewhere, let it be in us and only us."

"What of the children you have right now, then? Do you not love them or would you rather them be another subject to your monstrous plans?"

"My children," Yoru murmured. His hand went to his head and as it did, his eyes closed as though in regret. He knew for a long time that they were not his and he remembered the men his wife would invite to their house, the men he forgot in his desperation for love, for some dignity in this cruel world. Instead, he had filled his mind with lies, pretended their lives were normal. He did it because he was unsure of existence.

"I told lies and I'm here now to correct them. I've never had children nor did I ever plan to. To do so would be hypocritical of me. For the children I did raise I've never loved them and never would. If they would burn along with the rest of the world or choose sterilization, that would be fine with me. If they choose to live as devils and continue their line of descendents, I cannot force them to live differently either."

"And so it is."

Yoru twitched at the sound of the new voice, old and gruff and begrudging. It was the voice of someone who, same as he, weathered through pain and sorrow, who watched the world initially curved through childish dreams burn and crumble into nonexistent ashes. He was shocked when he knew it to be his inmate who ignored him for so long.

"Let's vote. Those who declare the man innocent, say the words."

There was only silence.