𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐎 𝐔𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 - 𝟏𝟖+

S I X T E E N

P A S T

K E I R A

Seattle, USA

I'd always known that the day would come when I'd have to go back, but now that the evidence of all the errors I'd made in the past four years stared me in the eye, I didn't know what to do. I wished I could say loving Nikolai was a mistake, but he was the best thing that had happened to me in a very long time. Being Kevin and Carla Knight's daughter was challenging at best, and grueling at worst. Yes, they'd loved both Kyzer and me, but they didn't just expect perfection, they demanded it, and I never did well with doing what I was told. If they could see me now, they'd be disappointed, not because I'd went and fallen in love with the only man that could make me smile besides my brother, rather because all I'd did since he first kissed me was lie to him. It killed me to know that when all was said and done, getting Nikolai's hatred might be the best outcome. He'd never hidden his hatred for liars, always saying he preferred the good old 'I can't tell you' over fictitious realities. Finally, my perfectly crafted fables were going to fall off the cliff, and the road I'd kept on painting was now coming to an end as all dreams did. Perhaps, all of my counterfeit realities seemed plausible because there was a time even I'd believed my lies, and now the tribulations of my truth stood right in front of me, except this time I didn't know what to do, not did I have anyone to go to for advice. I'd single-handedly closed all doors of help when I'd lied not only to my fiancé, but also to my twin brother.

I sighed as I entered our apartment, and threw the keys on the counter, tears stung the back of my eyes as I swallowed the lump in my throat knowing that I'd brought this hell on myself. It was time to return, I knew that, however, I couldn't help but wonder if I could put the Pentagon off. I was being ripped apart by my legacy and my love, and while I knew what I wanted to choose, that choice would just end up killing the very person who breathed a new life in me with his mere existence. I sat on the couch in the dark as I looked at the cloudy sky from the floor-length windows willing it to offer me an answer.

I wasn't aware of how long I'd sat in the falling darkness as the daylight got dimmer, and tangerines and violets took over the sky. A set of keys dropping on the counter alerted me, and when I looked at Nikolai's tired frame, I couldn't help myself as I damn near ran towards him just as he was turning around, and pushed his back against the counter as I sealed my lips over his in a desperate kiss. Anything to feel him closer to me for a little while. He responded immediately by tightening his arms around me as he pulled me closer so that my breasts brushed against his chest. I pushed my hips into his as I took his lower lip between my teeth, pulling it. Kissing him had always transcended any high I could've chased, it'd always been freefalling with no end in sight, and still knowing he'd always catch me. Looping my arm around his neck, I pushed my tongue inside his mouth, kissing him like it was the first and last time I'd ever feel him against me, and perhaps it was because, after today, I would never know when it would be the last kiss I'd ever get from him. Nikolai matched the ache building deep inside of me with the passionate strokes of his tongue against mine as his hands traveled down the length of my hair, and he wrapped the unruly strands around his fist, tugging them backward so my head was angled for him to kiss me deeper. Our lips slid against each other's perfectly as I tightened my hold on his shirt, pulling him closer. No time with him would ever be enough, and the pain that I wouldn't have this very soon sliced my chest open. Nikolai pulled away, his brows furrowing together at the sudden misery that'd taken over me like a storm, however, I didn't want to confront my demons yet, after all, I'd managed to conveniently ignore them for four years, what was a few more nights? I slid my lips down towards his neck, kissing and biting any skin I could reach as I made a work of loosening his tie. Perhaps, it was selfish of me to even wish for engraving myself so deep under his skin that he'd never forget me, even when I was gone, but I wanted that. I wanted him to remember me, even when he thought I was dead.