𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐎 𝐔𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 - 𝟏𝟖+

T W E N T Y

Please read the note at the end.

K E I R A

Moscow, Russia

We'd been going at our little game for weeks now, and I didn't know what I hated more, when he sought me out and I couldn't say no, or when he left right after. He refused to give me anything more than a good fuck, and while I'd initially thought it'd be enough—it wasn't.

He treated me like a secret, only to be loved when his demons caught up with him and then left just as quickly as he'd come.

I sighed, my fingers tightening around the steaming cup of hot chocolate in my hand. I'd taken a liking to sitting out here in the garden, where it was quiet, albeit cold, but I supposed nothing could quite compare to the chills passing through my blood every minute of every day. I sighed, bringing the mug closer to my lips as I took a small sip of the chocolatey goodness that almost tasted like melted Belgian truffle. I could've sworn it was the best I'd ever had, but I'd never been picky with hot chocolate. I preferred this if I wanted caffeine, it was the most decadent way to satisfy my craving for caffeine and something sweet, all at the same time.

Busy drinking, I hadn't noticed a petite brunette approaching me, tugging at the sleeves of her cardigan before she wrapped her arms around herself, and took a seat beside me. It wasn't long after that a man I'd seen around Nikolai before followed her, though he didn't join her in sitting beside me, choosing to stand a couple of feet away, watching vigilantly, his dark eyes narrowed on me. I turned to look at the girl beside me, and she smiled. This was the first smile I'd been on the receiving end of ever since I got here, and while it should have made me happy, it left a hollow ache inside my chest.

"You're not used to kindness are you?" She whispered, her sweet, innocent voice telling me that she was untouched by most of the vile things my hands had touched. I turned to the man—Alexei, whom I'd reckon was her husband by the matching rings on both of their fingers—and gave him a nod, understanding his need to protect her. "I'm Irina," she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, fully facing me now.

"Keira,"

"I know."

"Why are you being nice to me?" My words were indeed the reinforcement I needed that the relationship between my brain and tongue was heavily strained, and it was about time I started working on that as well.

"Why can't I be nice to you?" She countered, "is it because you want us to be cruel to you so you can feel less guilty? Or do you truly feel that you deserve it?"

"I didn't realize any of the people in this place appreciated me being here..." I let my words trail off as I took another tentative sip of my drink.

"That's just the men. They can be imbeciles," she waved her hand, laughing a little. Her tiny frame shook when she laughed, and it was hard not to feel the contagious joy she'd been sprinkling around me ever since she took a seat beside me. Alexei relaxed at the sound of her laughter, his shoulders sagging, however, it was only for the tiniest fraction of a second, before he regained his composure.

"I'm guessing he doesn't share your enthusiasm or being here," I gestured to her husband standing a few feet away from us.

"Alexei is just over-protective," she shrugged, a dark shadow crossed her face before it was gone just like that, "and he doesn't hate you. He's wary." I arched my brow, urging her to continue. If this was the only way I'd get some idea of what Nikolai might be thinking I'd take it with open arms. "Nikolai, he's suffered a lot, and I'm sure you had your reasons, however..." she clicked her tongue, contemplating, "everyone here is loyal to him. I'd like for him to let you in because I've seen how it's been the past couple of years, but it's Nikolai's call."