𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐎 𝐔𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 - 𝟏𝟖+

T W E N T Y - S I X

Las Vegas, USA

K E I R A

It was the longest he'd let me kiss him without taking over and letting his aggression bleed through his kisses. Not this time though. This time, his lips remained soft against mine, his grip firm but adoring around my jaw and neck. Nothing like I'd gotten used to. He groaned as I pulled away, and touched his forehead with mine, his eyes alight with so many emotions, and for the first time, none of them were hate.

I traced his lips with my trembling fingertips, half-convinced it was a dream when he closed his lips against my fingertips, and butterflies fluttered inside my stomach. Wanting to lock this moment to memory, I closed my eyes, my hand still on his jaw, and my fingers on his lips.

"Keira, I need you to look at me, please."

My eyes fluttered open as if he was their master and I suppose in some ways he was, he played my body like his own piano, and like the keys that let him manipulate them into making the kind of melody he wanted, I surrendered too. Except, I didn't know which version of him would be holding me when I fell. The boy I fell in love with or the man who was insistent that he hated me.

"Little—" I pressed my lips to his, silencing him, and this time he took over, he kissed me like he was a man starved. His tongue licked my lips until I opened my mouth for him and then he made love to me as his hand on my neck moved down to my waist, pulling me closer, until there was nothing between us but our clothes. I met his invasion with the same fervor, our tongues knotted in a dance that they knew all too well.

Needing something more for the ache developing between my legs, my hands moved between us, and my fingers fiddled with the buttons of his shirt.

Nikolai's hands covered mine, halting my movements, and I broke the kiss, tasting regret on my tongue instead of him. I opened my eyes to look at him, and he was staring at me, his eyes still the same shade of slate gray with tiny speckles of blue breaking through had an indecipherable current to them that I couldn't figure out. Lead coated my tongue and my throat closed up, as tears at being rejected by him again stung my eyes. I turned my face away, breaking his gaze, and tried to take a step back, however, he didn't yield his hold on me. His fingers curled around my jaw as he made sure I had nowhere to look, but at him. His other hand still remained around my hands, and for the first time in eight years, I could feel all the calluses on his hands.

"I want nothing more than to take you, but not here," His gaze danced over my head, and I realized we were still in the same hotel room, I'd been staying in. The same room Ian Miller was sleeping in. A ghost of a smile turned his lips up as realization washed on me, and he forced my eyes back on him, "I don't want to fuck you tonight," I took in a sharp intake of breath, "I won't fuck you tonight," He shook his head, almost like he was entranced, or fighting a battle I'd never know about.

His hazy eyes focused on mine again, "I." He brushed his lips against mine, but before I could even feel the taste of him, he pulled away, "Do you remember when you asked me to give you one night?"

"Is this goodbye? Is that what you're here for?" I freed my hands from his and rammed my finger in his chest, "you shouldn't have bothered."

"Keira."
"I told you, Nikolai, I don't want you to keep breaking my heart."
"Why would I do that when breaking your heart shatters mine too?"
"Because you have grown fond of the way it hurts you."

A laugh escaped me as his arm around my waist tightened and he tugged me closer, my finger the only thing between us. I stood on my toes, my neck tilted so I could hold his gaze. My laughter died between us at the unfathomable intensity of his gaze. It was almost like staring into an abyss, perpetual darkness, however, the mystique of whatever was lurking beneath kept me wanting more, even if I knew that more would eventually kill me. He looked at me like he wanted me to feel his anger and it lacerated me, but he also looked at me like he wanted me to save him, and how could I deny him that when my heart had chosen his as its poison of choice? I'd keep giving him pieces of me until I was nothing, and that's what scared me.