Snapshots From Life

Chapter 3 - The Talk

Ginny came in the front door and called, "Love, I'm back!" She hung her traveling cloak on a hook by the door. She called out again as she walked down the front hall, "I'm sorry I was gone most of the day, but you know how Mum can be once she gets started."

Ginny walked into the downstairs kitchen, "She told me to tell you that...Harry!"

Ginny found Harry sitting at the kitchen table with a couple of empty wine bottles in front of him. Ginny walked over and sat down next to him and asked, "Love, are you ok? You've been crying."

Harry looked over to Ginny and replied, "Had a couple of drinks with lunch." Harry's face was damp, and his eyes were red and bloodshot from crying all day.

Ginny looked at Harry with much sympathy as she stood. As she took his hand she said, "I can tell. Let's get you into the sitting room." She helped Harry up and slowly walked him into the sitting room and onto the couch. He was a bit unsteady but with Ginny's help, Harry made it just fine.

Ginny sat next to him. Harry settled into her and placed his head on her chest. Ginny wrapped her arms around Harry and rubbed his back. Harry wasn't really a drinker. He might have a couple of glasses of wine on holidays with dinner and the occasional beer but that was usually it. The most Ginny had ever seen Harry drink was at their wedding and it wasn't what she would consider a lot. If anyone were a drinker, it would be Ginny. Every so often she would go out with the girls after a match or practice and have a few drinks, but Ginny wouldn't get drunk.

Ginny kissed Harry's head and said, "I'd say you had more than a couple of drinks with lunch. Do you want to talk about it, Love?"

Harry started crying again, "It's all over, right?" Ginny knew Harry was asking about the war.

Ginny kissed Harry again, "Yes Love. It's all over."

Harry just sat there with his head on Ginny's chest listening to her heartbeat and felt her hand rub his back. He just couldn't stop thinking about it. Most days were good, but occasionally, he would hit a wall. When that happened Ginny always helped him through it. Ginny would hold him and reassure him that everything was over and that they were safe. She would remind Harry the Voldemort was gone and this time he wouldn't be coming back. When Harry was at work, he always had the job to distract himself with. This time though Ginny was out with Mrs. Weasley and Harry was at home.

After a couple of minutes, Harry said, "Sometimes it doesn't feel like it's over."

Ginny kept rubbing Harry's back and replied, "I know it doesn't, not for you. You know if I could take the pain away I would."

Harry said, "I know you would."

After a couple of minutes, Harry continued, "It's always with me you know. Most of the time I can push it aside in my mind and not think about it all, but I know it's always there. Today I just couldn't push it aside. I just couldn't do it. I was fine for a bit after you left for the Burrow. I felt so good I told Kreacher to go and do something fun. I think he said he was going to Hogwarts to visit the house-elves in the kitchen. I read and listened to the wireless. I even went for a walk around the neighborhood. Around lunchtime, I started hitting the wall, so I had a glass of wine with my lunch and that drink led to another and then another. Before long I drank both bottles."

Ginny sat quietly and just listened and waited for Harry to continue.

After a few quiet minutes, Harry said, "I really hate carrying it with me all the time. Sometimes it really drives me nuts."

Ginny replied, "I know it bothers you. Why did you drink anyway?"

Harry was thoughtful for a minute, "I guess I just wanted to be numb for a while. Just kind of forget about things for a bit, you know?"

Ginny kissed his head as a single tear ran down her cheek, "What did you tell me when we first got married and I would drink a little too much on Fred's birthday?"

Harry answered, "Never drink to forget, you'll just end up remembering."

Ginny nodded and asked, "And what else did you use to tell me when things got rough that first year after the war?"

Harry answered, "No matter how bad things get, as long as we're together we can, and we will get through it."

Ginny nodded again and said, "That's right."

It broke Ginny's heart to see Harry like this. All wrapped up in his own pain, not being able to do much of anything. It didn't happen often but often enough. There were times when Harry would wake up in the middle of the night screaming from a nightmare and there were times when Harry would just get lost in his own head that he wouldn't talk for hours. Most days were good and there was little cause for concern. When Ginny went on the road with the team, Harry ate dinner with her parents and Kreacher kept an eye on him when he was home. Hermione and Ron would check in on him and Bill made it a point to come around too.

Ginny said, "I need you to sit up."

Harry sat up and looked at his lap. Ginny told him, "Look at me, Love." Harry met Ginny's eyes and she asked him, "Remember that night when I was crying hysterically, and it took you nearly an hour to calm me down?" Harry nodded.

Ginny asked him, "What did you tell me then Love?"

Harry simply said, "It's ok to not be ok."

Ginny nodded and said, "That's right. I love you, Harry. No matter what, through thick and thin, for better or for worse. I know there are days when you still fight the war and you just can't escape it. I know there are days that you feel like you just can't make it. That's when you come find me, no matter where I am. Promise me that when it gets really hard for you, you find me. You don't have to be brave and strong, not with me. I love you. When you hurt, I hurt. When you cry, I cry. When you smile, I smile. When you laugh, I laugh."

Harry nodded and replied, "I promise."

Ginny wrapped her arms around Harry and enveloped him in a loving embrace.

Harry hugged Ginny back and said, "I love you too."

Ginny smiled and kissed Harry and told him, "Now I'm telling you never drink to forget, you'll just end up remembering, no matter how bad things get, as long as we're together we can and we will get through it and most importantly, it's ok to not be ok."