I See You

Chapter 2: Shitty Day

James

Wednesday, October 13

The sun hits my skin, and everything feels like it is burning. I am in a giant oven. People always say that sunny days are happy days. That they are good days. I beg to differ. I can already feel the sunburn coming tomorrow, and my skin peeling. If only I could afford sunscreen. It has only been a day, but I had already forgotten why I had been so happy the day before. I haven't seen Daisy all day anyway. I haven't received a single text from Jessica. I haven't seen any of my friends all day actually. My gut already tells me they are avoiding me. Or that I have been the one avoiding them, and pushing them away.

Maybe it's because of my crappy mood. I don't even know why I am feeling so shitty. I just do. I just fucking do. Then I remember something that I don't want to remember. The bombshell that Aaron had dropped on me. He is cutting my allowance. No wonder I felt shitty the moment I got out of bed. Anger builds up within me. My allowance is already much less than the other kids around me. I hadn't complained about it at all. So why is it being cut? He is so fucking unreasonable. Fuck, why did I have to remember that?

Someone runs into me, propelling me towards the floor. I feel the sting the moment my hands and knees hit the cold, hard concrete.

"Sorry! So sorry," The person yells, without even looking back and running away. He didn't even pick me up. He didn't even ask me if I was ok. I look down at my scraped knees. I am bleeding. Of course I am. I don't even know if we have the proper disinfectants at home. If we don't, I doubt Aaron will get some for me.

Fucking hell. Today sucks. It's the worst day ever. Why is everything going wrong today? I don't even want to go home. I don't want to look at his face, I don't want to have to ask him out of all people for disinfectant. I have no choice either way, because I have to dress my wounds. Maybe I'll just cycle around the park afterwards. I need to cheer myself up. Then I see my bicycle tires.

Are you kidding me? My tires are flat. Even my bicycle tires can't stand seeing me happy. How the hell am I supposed to get home? Now I can't even go cycling! Ugh I hate everything. I hate everyone. I hate-

"James?" A soft voice fills my ears. I look up. Daisy tilts her head, with an unsure smile upon her lips. She may not have appeared afraid, but her big black eyes and the quiver in her voice gave it away. I wonder how long she had been standing there just to say my name.

My heart skips a beat. She had talked. She was the one who approached me first. She was the one that walked up to me to call my name. Even though I must've looked so scary and intimidating. I can't help breaking into a smile. She had only said my name, but my pride for her came flooding in. It is already such a big step for her. But the pride only lasts for a moment, before all the shitty feelings come back. So I think I can use a distraction.

"Hi Daisy. Let's go for lunch please." It means that I will probably go over my allowance. My wounds probably will get infected. But at this point, I can't care less anymore.

Daisy

James is in a terrible state. His hair is a mess. His face is black. His knees and hands are bleeding. It looks like the moment he got out of bed, he regretted it. So he put no effort into how he looks, or to even take care of himself. That must be the reason why his collar is one up one down, his buttons are undone and his tie isn't tightened. His eyes are bloodshot, so he probably didn't sleep or get enough sleep.

He looks like he had the worst day of his life. That nothing can make it better. Things are getting worse and worse. My heart aches. I want to do something to make him feel better. If only a little bit. But I will have to brave the storm, and be brave enough to break through his thoughts. I have to understand and prepare myself in case he snaps back. He won't mean to, if he snaps at me, I remind myself. He is having a bad day. It's okay if he snaps at me, I repeat.