Welcome to Gotham

Jokes on you Jerk

Harley sat on the couch her hair a mess and in his sweat pants and a bra she didn't wear make up and her scars were healed gracefully. "How are you going to go about taking care of the Joker?"
"I'm going to do it my way."
"You can't kill him."
"I know that. But he had no right to hurt you either."
"Wade-"
"Harley this isn't about me and some caveman ambition to say 'I new man she my woman.' No Harley this is about me inflicting the same amount of abuse that he inflicted onto you for absolutely no reason."
"Wade. I love you."
"I love you too Harley which is why I have to do this."
He looked at her one last longing time. He knew how this had to go. He knew that he would have to take every single pain and hurt she had and make him pay. Even if he had thought that this was a bad idea he'd still do it for her. He loved her enough to make this happen. To protect her from everything. Including if need be himself. "Be careful wade and come home to me."
"I'll be home before breakfast."
"Good cause I'm cooking."
'HELL YEAH.'
"Sounds Great." He smiled and walked out.

Deadpool went to the rundown library and walked in with a little confidence. 'Are you sure that is a good idea?'
Deadpool shrugged and walked in. "Hello?!"
"What the hell are you doing here?"
" I need your help."
"You punched me in the face."
"You know in positive retrospect... I could have killed you."
"I don't care. You let-"
"Listen I can help you help me help you."
"And how the hell do you think that would happen?"
"I need you to help me catch the Joker!"
"I'm a villain just incase you didn't notice."
"I did."
"And you want me to kill him." He said standing there His auburn hair shaggy and his glasses broken on one side and a black question mark on his green jacket on his chest. "No."
"What do you want me to help you with then."
"I need your brain to help me with the smart making. I need you to help me make a room of riddled jokes. I want to catch this dick and put him in a cage. And if you help me I'll tell the bats you did and to give you partial immunity for everything you've done, because I know why you did it. I get it. So please help me."
"I can do that. And you pot is pretty sweet."
"So you'll help me?"
"Yes. If you can solve this riddle about how I feel about you."
'ANOTHER FUCKING RIDDLE!'
'Well positive maybe he won't kill us.'
"Fine."
"They are like stars burning bright, they be sometimes invisible in your brightest day, but are always there in your darkest night."
'I'm drawing a blank.'
'The king of riddles draws a blank.'
'You got anything ball buster?!'
'I got nothing.'
"Friendship. You mean friendship."
"I do and for that and that alone I will help."
"I don't take our friendship lightly and I'm only asking your help because he deserves it."
"Well you go get the clown, and I will have his maze done in the funhouse about a mile away."
"I'll get the clown I'll see you in about an hour."
"That sounds about right. After all I am a genius."
They both laughed, and shook hands. "I'll see you soon."

"I can't believe that dumb bitch didn't get the damned diamonds!" Joker ranted. Deadpool stalked outside of the laugh factory listening to nothing but him diminish and curse at the woman he gave his heart to.
"What the hell is she useful for? Sure she breaks me out of the joint and she has that lounge tongue."
'Oh my God that Tongue thing!'
'Um I think we are trying to be heroes. Your boner isn't helping.'
'But you know the thing with the tongue feels awesome.'
'WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE TOUNGE THING!'
'You only want me to shut up because you LOVE it.'
Joker was pacing back and forth around the office "I need something to have for this machine to have pizazz! To have Flair. I have a feeling that Batman is getting bored. I haven't seen him days. Weeks even Crime is boring when there is no one to stop me." He looked under the desk and pulled out an emerald. "This should make the best laser transmitter. I guess I don't need that dumb bitch after all. Always hanging on my arm. Begging me too eat and love on her. No way I could love an idiot she's not catchy or funny she's an innate little know it all... Still she didn't come back after our little spat. Part of me misses her. I could use something to hit."
"I don't think so." Deadpool said standing in front of him. He looked at him with his painted smile and black painted eyes and bright ugly green hair. "Dude you need to sue your make up artist." He laughed in his face.
"Who are you?"
"I'm here to give you the Mencemarks in return you will never and I do mean NEVER come near Harley Quinn ever again." He held the satchel in view point of the Joker who snorted like they weren't worth what he was making a fuss about.
"Oh I can't do that." He said shortly attempting to snatch the diamonds, but failed with Deadpool on the defense.
"Why not?"
"Like I was saying to my scary friends. I need something to punch and then screw her blind."
"Oh please. You can't screw her anymore. After what I did to... Let's just say you're not the funniest or the most sexually thrilling man are you?"
"Oh I am."
"I don't think so wittle itty bitty minuet man."
"Did you just insult me."
"Yes. And I laugh about it. See! AHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHA!"
"I don't very much like you."
"Good so the the arrangement is mutual."
"With me not liking you yes. Harley on the other hand hell no."
"You called her dumb bitch for like the first five minuets of addressing her, and you are done with her, Or I will fuck you up."
"You don't scare me."
"Good cause I hate clowns, but I love Harley."
"Love that idiot is about as compatible as a rock."
"Call her outside of her name one more time Joker and I'm gonna hit you like you hit her."
"Catch me first!" Joker was about to run when Deadpool threw spiked rope around him. "Do you remember this from your one year anniversary?!" He tightened them. "You left her in this piece of shit for a day! All because she wanted to spend time with you!" He pulled Joker in and started slapping, punching, and kicking him.
"Oh I am bleeding! Too bad I can't cut them" He tried to slice the rope, but proved ineffective.
"Tisk Tisk my little idiot! You didn't think that for a second that I would let you go. After all the good Harley has done for you You don't let her go! I don't think that is fair in any occasion. And for that I'm gonna punch you." POW! SMACK! CRUNCH!
For once the Joker was silent his head hung low and he then started laughing "I'm going to kill you. I am going to rip your head off and use it in Shakespearean Monologue do you understand that." Joker spat blood at Deadpool's feet. This caused Joker another smack. another hard mean slap. "It's rude to spit you barbarian!"
'I smell Irony.'
'Or he just smells.'
He laughed "Did Harley put you u to this to teach you a lesson?"
"You wish. Your Harley is gone."
"It's only been a day how can she be gone that quickly once she's seen what you've done to her Puddin' as she so lovingly called me she's going to kill me!"
"No Puddin'." A voice said behind them. "I'm not."
"Harley! Baby! So glad to see you came. Now kill this dumb ass and save your Puddin'. I'll be better to you this time! I will."
"That's wonderful, but I can't do that."
"Harley what are you doing here?"
She came out in a dress that looked like Deadpool's outfit and combat boots, Her once always pigtailed hair was in a blonde curly ponytail. "You left this. Whatever is going on between you and Riddles is ready."
"Ah great! Thank you darling." He kissed her cheek. "I'll see you at home. What did you want for-"
"HARLEY YOU HEAR ME TALKING TO YOU YOU STUPID DOLT GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
They looked at him. "Joker you really shouldn't be so rude. It takes away from your humor. Which when I look back on it isn't funny. I'm going to go now." She said strongly and turned with a leap she was gone.
'She was shaking like a leaf, but she held it together.'
'She made our outfit look... sexy... Sexier than when we wear it.'
'She's so brave.'
'And she can cook. I think we should marry her and father up some babies before she gets wise that we are insane and leaves.'
.''For the second time I agree
'When was the first?'
'When you said we were awesome.'
'We are pretty fuckin awesome. And if we father up some babies we'll have even more awesome us' going around! Deadpool will live on! With a strong blood line.'
'What if she doesn't want kids?'
'I'll convince her.'
'I bet you will.'
'Ch-yeah I will'