Welcome to Gotham

'Gotham is cool!' One of his voices said 'Kinda like that Bat Guy... What's his name again'
The more logical voice sighed 'Batman... His name is Batman.'
'Well it doesn't matter who it is. Why are we here again?'
'We have been told there is Money in murder here and what is it we do best...'
For once he was silent all the voices were confused. 'C'mon idiots its MURDER... We are good at Murder...'
'Ah He's right you know.' The calmer voice said 'We are pretty Fucking good at Murder.'
Deadpool sat on his perch slowly chewing on a chimichanga waiting on their conversation to be over. "Are you assholes finished. I'm trying to fucking concentrate."
'Well excuse me for trying to keep this fucking boring stake out to be not so fucking boring'
'This is rather boring...'
'Yeah man! We're in your head and we don't even know what the fuck we're doing... What the fuck are we doing?'
"I am stalking I'm trying to be brooding... Ya know fit in."
'Like that Bat guy!'
'It's Bat. Man.'
'Ah tomato tamoto.'
'I don't think that says right.'
"Will you two please shut the fuck up." He looked at the beam of red light pouring from the window. "What the hell?"
'Looks like someone is trying to Kill someone! OHHH I know let's kill them both.'
"Finally a good idea." Deadpool concentrated on the red beams ending target and teleported. A fat congressman sat laughing at some reality t.v. show where there were women cat-fighting.
'Either way... Lets turn on the charm!'
"Hiya Pal!"
"What the-"
"I wouldn't move too much... That red light is uh... Its gonna kill ya."
"You get out of my house! Or I'll-"
"You'll Kill me." Deadpool laughed hard "I'd like to see you try." He gauged the fat guys stunned reaction "No... Really TRY." He handed him a gun. "If you shoot me in the head and I die... I owe you twenty bucks. If you shoot me in the head and I live... I decapitate you! Deal?"
"I am the M-"
"Deal."
"Sir I don't know who you-"
"Come on is it a deal or what chicken shit?"
"Fine... I'll play your dumb game just leave me alone."
"Okay on the count of three." He held up one finger "One." He held up his middle finger "Twooo." He held up his ring finger and pointed it like a gun to his head "THREE."
BANG! The shot Rang out followed by another one not ten seconds later. After Deadpool Picked himself up out of the pool of blood he seen the fat ass just lying there. "What the hell?" He walked over and where there was once a red light was there was a large hole. "Youch!"
'Well at least you don't have to give him twenty bucks.'
'Good point, but we should still get the hell outta here.'
Deadpool went to the window and there was another light shinning on him. "You gotta be fuckin' killing me!"
'Uh doesn't red mean die?'
He didn't bother to respond just Teleport to where the red light was shinning and stand where someone in a mask with a red eye and a gun lying on the floor. "The fuck are you doing?"
"What the hell?!" Deadshot looked up quickly getting into fighting stance "Where the fuck are you did you come from?!"
"Uh Well... I was the guy with the beam on his chest and now I am the guy who is about to Fuck. You. Up."
Deadshot just stared looking at him like he was a psychopath. Giving Deadpool just enough time to punch him in the face, throwing him back far enough to have to scramble for his 9 mil. "You gonna shoot me! Dude I just paid someone to do that. Then you killed him."
"What?"
"Shoot me! C'mon I wanna see you do it. I wanna see you put a bullet in me!"
"I never miss." Deadshot grunted.
"Funny." He smirked "Neither. Do. I." He looked at him and opened his arms "So shoot."
Deadshot unloaded a whole clip on him one shot after another and Deadpool started walking to him. "Ouch, Ow. Shit! Dude!" He took the gun. "My Turn." He started wailing on him hard. Punching him with quick two hit each time. "This is for shooting me! And this is for shooting me! And this is for shooting me! And this... Well Pretty much every punch is for you shooting me. I should kill you, but that would be rude."
'Look who has finally grown a soul.'
'Not that that's a bad thing.'
Deadpool stood. "If you come after me again, I'll kill you. And I'll get blood all over your carpet!" Deadpool walked off whistling 'Walking on Sunshine.' 'Well That was fun.'
'Only because he wasn't ready. Next time he will come fighting.'
'Ah what do you know.'
'A lot.'

The nights droned on as he waited for this character he was supposed to assassinate come into Gotham. His name was Oswald Copperpot and he had done some quite scandalous and awful things, but because of his clout and his apparent quick talking he was beyond a bullet in Gotham. The asshole had to be pissed off someone pretty bad for them to call him. The contract was a little of few words. Just. Kill. Him. Deadpool could do that blindfolded. If he could ever find the asshole that is. "Who are you and what are you doing in Gotham?" A dark voice said.
"How about I am who I am and none of your damn business bub."
"Why did you fight with dead shot."
"Why does anyone wipe their ass in the morning?! We. Don't. Know." Deadpool said turning around to the man in a bat costume. 'Oh. My. God.'
'Batman.'
'I am such a HUGE fan can we take a picture? Oh ask him to sign our boobs!'
"Batman what a pleasure seeing you here, I was hoping we could meet for tea." He said in a royal accent "You know hero to heh Zero."
"Who are you?"
"You don't know me but I know you. Why would I tell you who I am. I wouldn't have the upper hand. AND if the only thing I have in this conversation is the bigger dick I guess I'd win nothing! And I like winning didn't Dead-shit tell you that?"
"That's it I've got no time for this! Joker is-"
"Does Joker tell Jokes?"
'Oh I like Jokes!'
'Don't We all.'
"No he isn't funny." Batman said with a grunt.
"Well can you give me directions?"
"To?" "Uhhhh. The Iceberg lounge." He held up a map "I gotta meet the boss." "You work for Penguin?"
"Uh. Who?"
"The Boss. His name is Penguin."
"No I'm here to see... Why am I explaining myself to you?" He said throwing the map out. "You're not my supervisor." "I'm going to have to stop you."
"Ohh no you don't! I will kick your battastic ass!"
"I don't want to do this. I also have other activities and I have to."
BOOM! CRASH! 'What the holy hell?!'
'What the shit?'
"What the fuck was that?"
"DAMNIT!" Batman screamed. He tossed a device at Deadpool that tied his arms and legs tightly together "You stay here. I'm not quite sure about you!" With that Batman disappeared into the night leaving him alone.
'What the fuck is going on in this city?!'
'I don't know, but this is a pretty disturbing way to say welcome to Gotham.'
Deadpool pulled a gun to the right angle and pulled the trigger putting his lights out one more time.