JUST FOR YOU | SB19 Ken ✓

Chapter 40

YASMIN.

I fixed myself before the afternoon class start. Naglagay rin ako ng light make up na hiniram ko kay Wendy para hindi mahalatang umiyak ako. I plan to not show how heart broken I am.

Maybe, this is just a spur of the moment, right? Makilimutan ko din itong nararamdaman ko for Ken... for my brother. Good thing din na maaga niyang sinabi na kalimutan ko na ito, atleast, hindi pa malalim.

I'll make sure to erase this feelings because I know, wala ding sense. Walang patutunguhan. Hindi masusuklian.

"Yas, ayos ka na?" Wendy whispered. I faced her and smile.

I smiled to show her I'm fine. I should be fine.

"Of course." She stared at me again and shook her head.

"Sige, kunwari hindi ko alam na nagpepretend ka," she said pero hindi ko na pinansin. Tinuon ko na lang ang pansin ko sa klase na pasimula na. I tried to focus and gladly, I managed to focus until the end of the class.

Naisip kong pag uwi, makakasabay ko si Ken pero hindi ko parin alam paano ko sya haharapin. Ayoko pa syang harapin. I want to erase this feelings first before I face him.

Wendy bid goodbye dahil nasa labas na daw ang sundo niya. Even Justin needs to go since his brother is waiting. I'm left alone at hindi na ko mageexpect na aantayin ako ni Ken.

I guess, it's my time to be alone.

I walked out of the classroom and go straight to the gate. Alas kwatro na ng hapon pero wala pa akong balak umuwi. Ayoko pang umuwi. Knowing that I need to face my brother there.

Nahihiya akong harapin sya. Nahihiya ako sa nararamdaman ko para sakanya. I'm ashamed of it. So, I should really get rid of this.

I walked and walked until it's dark. Napatingin ako sa orasan sa cellphone ko. It's 5:30 PM. Ganoon katagal akong naglakad, huh?

I was about to turn off my phone when a text from Ken suddenly pops up.

From: Ken

Where the hell are you?

I stared at his message. By now, he probably knows I'm not at the house. Mas pinili kong 'wag siyang replyan. Hindi ko alam kung ipapaalam ko ba kay Mama at Papa but I chose not to. I don't want them to worry. Ken probably didn't say anything to them.

I continued walking until I stopped at the park. The park where we used to play when we are kids.

Wala na ring halos tao dahil pagabi na. Tanging ingay na lang ng mga sasakyang nadaan ang naririnig. Mga makina ng motor at iilang mga taong nag-uusap. Mga tinderang nagtatawag para maubos na ang paninda nila.

I smiled as I glanced at the swing beside the bench I'm sitting at.

Ken used to push the swing for me. He stays behind me in case something happens. He's always behind me to protect me. At tingin ko, nasira ko 'yon by having feelings for him.

"I messed up..." bulong ko at tumayo para pumunta sa swing na yun. I slowly swing myself at natulala sa harapan.

I still wonder why Ken failed to do his promise three months ago? He never opened that topic but I wanna know. Sa nangyayari ngayon, hindi ko na alam kung paano ko pa malalaman. Kung paano ko itatanong sakanya.

It's all messed up because of this feelings.

My phone rings. I look at it and saw Ken calling.

I want to be alone kaya hindi ko sinagot ang tawag nya at shinutdown na lang ang cellphone ko. I don't want any disturbance right now.

I'm wondering, if I never have this feelings, we're still okay. We'll continue fighting over nonsense things. We'll continue to pissed each other off. Pero, dahil talaga sa nararamdaman ko, eto, umiiwas ako. Masakit na una palang, wala na. Talo na ako agad. Hindi ko pa nasusubukan pero susukuan ko na agad.

Siya na nagsabi eh. I should find another person to like because the person I like can't reciprocate my feelings.

It's all clear. He rejected my feelings without me confessing. Inunahan niya na akong tanggihan bago ko pa maamin. Inunahan na niya akong sabihin na hindi niya masusuklian itong nararamdaman ko.

I was busy staring at the ground when I felt my tears fell kasabay nang pagbuhos din ng ulan.

Now, I felt thankful towards the rain. It's accompanying me and comforting me. I didn't move. I let myself soaked in the rain. Naririnig ko ang pagmamadali ng mga tao sa likuran ko but I didn't bother myself standing up.

It feels good. Nakakagaan ng pakiramdam ang ulan. Nakakagaan ng pakiramdam na may sumasabay sa aking umiyak ngayon. Na may nagtatakip ng mga luha ko. Pinikit ko ang mata ko at hinayaang mabasa ang buong katawan ko.

"Yasmin!" I opened my eyes and turn to the one who called me and my traitor heart beats for him again.

It's Ken, soaked in the rain. Walang payong na dala. Just himself.

I stayed on the swing. Naiiyak na naman ako but I chose not to stand up. I waited for him to come near me. He's walking towards me, not bothering to wipe his face soaked in the rain. Nang nasa tapat ko na sya, lumuhod siya para makapantay ako. I just stared at him.

He used to be my brother. I used to see him as a brother. A brother who always pisses me off. A brother who always disturb my sleep. A brother who always protects me and cares for me. A brother who always risked himself just to make sure I'm safe.

I sobbed and cover my face. I felt his hands removing my hands.

Why did I have to fall in love with him? Of all people. Why him?

"Yasmin, let's go home," he said softly despite of the heavy rain pouring.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry... sorry." Paulit ulit akong humihingi ng tawad sa kaniya

"Why? Why are you sorry? Tell me, please," patuloy niyang tinatanggal ang kamay ko na nakatakip sa mukha ko and he manage to do so.

I look at his worried expression. His eyes was soft and gently staring at me. I pursed my lips to stop myself from crying pero hindi ko maitigil.

"I'm sorry that I let myself fall for you. Hindi dapat. Alam kong maling mali. Y-you're my brother and I shouldn't feel like this. A-alam ko rin na wala kang maisusukli sa akin. You make it clear and I should get rid of th-"

"Don't," he firmly said.

I shook my head. "No, I'm really sorry for feeling this. Magkapatid tayo. Not by blood pero magkapatid tayo kaya hindi ito pwede. S-sorry for messing up. I'm sor-" My words was cut off again when... he hugged me.

He's huggin me tight and my body immediately felt warm. The coldness of the rain fades as his warmth embraced me. His head was burried on my neck and his arms is tightly wrapped around me.

"Don't be sorry. Don't cry. Don't say things like that..." he paused and I heard him swallowed hard.

"Don't get rid of your feelings for me."

-
Edited Version.