Believe Again

CH 14: P'Tharn...?

WARNING:

 Graphic violence ahead... I'll mark it for those who can't stand it. 

Unedited.

- Wannie

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***KORNKNOCK HOUSE***

Type slept peacefully with his face digging into Sarawat's chest. And Sarawat had his arms draped around his younger twin. Sarawat had become Type's substitute for Tharn's embrace. Sarawat was warm, comfy, it felt safe. But it still was nowhere near the comfort and calmative Tharn could provide him just with a single smile. He missed him. Like crazy. But could not talk about it. 

Bringing up the topic of Tharn was not a genius thing to do in this house. Korn would get pissed and start ignoring Type until he was calm. He did that because he did not want to shout on Type for being so helplessly in love. So, he would jus avoid his baby brother until his brains were back on track. But there was something other than pissed. There was a constant worry in Korn's eyes but it was not for Type getting hurt. It was like he knew something but could not share. 

Knock too would get angry. He regretted not trying to stop Type and Tharn's marriage much earlier. Even the law would not help them as in their world, divorce was not an easy thing to attain. Moreover, the stress the topic gave him was not good for his health. Not to forget how terrible his hormones made his logic. He would be angry one second and the other? Hungry. Or maybe worse, mad. Once he was mad at something, he would lock himself alone in his room and refuse to eat for the whole day. Which nobody wanted the for four and a half month pregnant man to do since his date was in two months. 

But the worst of all was still Sarawat. 

That man did not even know that his twin was already married. Their father never found it important to tell him details of Type's life. The old man was disgusted with his youngest born like anything. Type could not even get himself to tell Sarawat about his marriage. Knock had already taken away his wedding ring because he always saw Type spacing out sadly while caressing the metal band on his finger. Telling Sarawat, he did not even think Sarawat would believe him. 

"Nice joke, Ty!"  is what Type expects his twin to respond. 

He was not planning on telling Sarawat about this until him and his husband reconcile. Or at least talk. But that day seemed to be far away. Type knew it was all his fault. It was his insecure and weak nature that made him bring this upon himself. 

Deep in his heart, Type knew the truth of Tar's words. And he has accepted it too. He knew it, that Tharn did not cheat on him. He knew his husband had always been nothing but genuine and caring with him. From the first time Type had looked into Tharn's eyes, a voice within him told him how safe just the soft smile he gave felt. It told him how calming that dark, darting pair of eyes were. And he let that voice in him sway him with its decisions and views. He knew Tharn would never hurt him.

But his hurt was not just about that. There was more to the context than just the part of said infidelity. There was the fact of how true Tar was about his tendencies. It was true, to Type at least, that he could not be trusted as to when and why he would end up slashing himself. He could not be trusted over what words seem harmless to others, but to him, give him another reason to try ending it all for once and for all. And... he had been slashing himself secretly once again. 

No one found out. He would lock himself in the bathroom and slash his inner thighs, somewhere nobody had a reason to look. He would see the blood flood down his tanned legs and then wash it off, not wanting anybody to find out, followed by a silent session of crying. The bathroom was the only place he knew he could cry and let his feelings out. He knew it was no use crying in front of the other three men. It would make Korn and Knock only more mad at his husband and Sarawat would not even understand his reason.