love, a complicated thing indeed

broken and bruised

It had been 3 days since that night. Since she had told him. Since he walked away. 3 days and he hadn't said a single word to her. It was her own fault, she decided, she should never have told him in the first place, she should have known he would never love someone as broken and defective as her. How could she be so blinded by her love for him that she didn't even realize his lack of love for her. It was all obvious now though, now that he was avoiding her, ignoring her. She knew it would take a miracle for him to ever speak to her again, a miracle that would never be granted to someone as pathetic and worthless as her.

She fumbled with the keys to her apartment, slowly opening the door only to be met with the very demon she had attempted to get away from. "Who was he?!", David screamed at the top of his lungs, "you slept with him didn't you! You ungrateful bitch!", he continued, his face and voice giving away the anger hidden beneath his constant lies of a happy couple. Her constant lies. Without a second thought, he charged at her, sending her crashing to the ground as he threw punch after punch, never ceasing his terrifying wrath despite her silence. She had learnt long ago never to make it worse by crying, if you cry, they hurt you more. The sad thing was that she learnt this as a 4-year-old girl, a 4-year-old girl that grew up terrified and alone, only to become the mess of a person she was now.

She slowly stumbled her way into the locker room, her arm screaming in pain as she reached her locker, not even bothering to hide her winces and tears at the pain ricocheting through her like a thousand precise bullets. She pried open her locker, placing her things into the small space and sitting wearily on the wooden bench opposite her, breathing a heavy sigh as she sat down, ignoring the pain shooting through her side at the movement.

She placed her head in her hands, breathing slowly in and out in order to calm the baby frantically kicking within her, sensing her mothers panic and despair. The door to the locker-room creaked open to reveal none other than halstead, who immediately moved to sit on the bench next to her before breathing out a sigh filled with such despair and fear that it sent a pang of guilt racing through her heart. She did this to him. If only she had kept her damn mouth shut-, her thoughts were thankfully interrupted as he began his explanation, never truly looking at her face, afraid it would break him to see her reduced to a mere shell of the badass cop she once was. "im sorry hails, im so, so sorry-", he trailed off, shock filling him at the sight of her face covered in cuts and bruises he had never seen before. He raised a hand to her cheek, placing a delicate kiss to her forehead before pulling her into his embrace, whispering a thousand words of reassurance in her ear as she broke down in his arms, the tears never ceasing to fall as she wept.

She cried for her unborn child and its future. She cried for her own childhood and its cruelty. But most of all, she cried for him, for the fact that for once in her life, she felt safe, because of him. She desperately held onto him as he gently stroked her hair, holding her as close to him as humanly possible as tears continued to pour from her eyes like a waterfall of salty despair. "Shhh. I got you hails... ive got you. And I promise, I promise, that im never gonna let go", he whispered gently in her ear, so much love filling his tone that she broke down once more, this timed crying for him and all they had been through together, because love was a complicated thing indeed. And she loved him more then she had ever loved anyone in her entire life, and he loved her just the same. Despite the complications and the terror, their love was a constant, and it would never fade.