Nakedness Weaponized (Kill la Kill x OP!Male Reader)

Chapter 2: Balls Out: The Love(less) Game

The Next Morning

♪ WE'RE NO STRANGERS TO LOVE~♪ YOU KNOW THE RULES AND SO DO I~♪

SMASH!

(Y/N): Yep, this is one of those days.

He yawned as he stood up with all the grace of an Ice-Skating Hippopotamus (who currently held the title of "Most Deceptively Elegant Species" in the animal kingdom) and scanned his surroundings.

Judging by the fact that the first thought since waking up wasn't a scheme to destroy the sun (He put a mental note on that one), it was still relatively dark outside. 6:30 a.m., to be precise.

(Y/N): Man, I woke up early? Now I won't be able to go back to sleep, no matter how much I want to. *sigh* The burdens of mortal flesh, truly a tragedy.

Fortunately, the burdens of mortal flesh could be neutralized with the sweet nectar that was alcohol. No, wait, they could be neutralized with pretty much anything if you use it right. And it would be a "long-term" solution, in a technical sense.

But let's be honest, you don't need any of that if you're reading this line instead of actually doing something. You've pretty much sacrificed your souls already.

To what? I don't know. Leave that to someone who cares. Moving on.

(Y/N): What did I have to do today? Annoy people, maybe do some damage, do some backflips, snap necks and save the day, and... Oh, yeah, Doc's personnel. They should've arrived.

He then read a message from an unknown contact on his phone, confirming his theory. He had about half an hour before his meeting.

Cons: He had to get up from bed at 6:30 a.m.

Pros: If he got up from bed, he would go to the pub and drink alcohol in the morning. There was the chance he wouldn't go to school sober.

It was a tale as old as time itself. Laziness vs. Alcohol. 

If he was to do both, then he was sure that the entirety of the mortal plane would collapse from the sheer power he would possess.

(Y/N): Hnnnngh... Must. Remain. Faithful. To my bed... But I could get drunk, though... But my bed, though... But the alcohol...

This could go on forever into its own spin-off tale. Trust me, I've looked into it. 

Fortunately, I present to you the optimal course of action (cue the fanfare), The Tiebreaker: Asshole Edition!

Lovely fanfare, lads. Moving on.

(Y/N): ...I could get drunk and annoy that Scissor girl and the Kiryuin at the same time... Yep, I'm going for that one, chief. Alcohol awaits.

He stood up from his bed (who was quite heartbroken and he would have to make up for it at a later date) and went to apply his make-up. 

Note: He doesn't actually use make-up (not anymore since an undisclosed incident), I'm just saying it to convey how much of a diva he is while getting ready in the mornings.

Another Note: He does, however, go to the beauty salon from time to time. The gossip at those places was amazing, and the products could be used for war crime purposes.

Yet Another Note: You're still here? And you have the gall to feel insulted when I insult you. 

_________________________________

Later, Honno City, Pub

(Y/N): ...You're telling me that Doc picked YOU to watch over ME?