Nakedness Weaponized (Kill la Kill x OP!Male Reader)

Chapter 5: Nudist Wars: The Mohawk Menace

Later, Unknown Location

(Y/N): Termination successful. Initiating "Blowing Shit Up" Procedures rrrrrrrright now!

KA-BOOOOOOOOM!

(Y/N): And that's the waaaaaaaaay--urrrrp!--the news goes! 

He gave a loud belch as he was in the middle of blowing up an entire complex out of the surface of the earth after being successful in his mission, all the while drinking ridiculous amounts of his patented mix.

His patented mix was also a very reactive, very explosive mixture that could easily trigger a nuclear detonation with the slightest disturbance outside of the most powerful liver in history, also known as (Y/N)'s Liver.

(Y/N): Nothing like a drink while murdering reality benders in the morning, am I right? 

He whistled as he casually burned three items he had in his hand: A small wooden loom, an enamel needle, and a glass eye.

(Y/N): Another day, another successful decommissioning. Let's see what those bureaucrats come up with to make me the bad guy of the story.

Just as he was about to take another swig, his phone started to ring. He saw the caller's ID, rolled his eyes, and answered the call.

(Y/N): *sarcastically* You're trying to reach the now-former location of Area 37. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Doctor: Yeah, I'm not scolding you. Neither of us particularly cares about how the decommissioning is done as long as it's done, especially in cases like this.

(Y/N): *sarcastically* Helluva moral compass you're turning out to be, Doc. So much that I almost considered not killing everyone inside while I was at it.

Doctor: Funny, you don't usually spew this much bullshit on a mission. 

(Y/N): Sorry about that. Let's start over: I did want to kill everyone inside! Are you happy now?

Doctor: Are you?

(Y/N): Ahahaha, don't be silly! You know that I don't wish death on anyone, buuuuuuuut you just wouldn't let things go my way, would you? Such a shame. 

Doctor: Necessary evil. Your alternative isn't exactly the most pleasing outcome.

(Y/N): Haha, you sure I'm the one spitting the bullshit here, Doc?

Doctor: Let's not argue about who's the delusional one here or we'll be stuck in this conversation all day long. Moving on with business. The situation in Norway is under control, so the gig's a success.

(Y/N): And just in time for Drink o'Clock at the pub!

Doctor: You're drinking right now, aren't you?

(Y/N): I detect some--urrrrp!--jealousy in your tone. 

Doctor: Well, I can actually get drunk, so the joke's on you.

(Y/N): Guh. Low blow, bro. You don't mock a man's suffering like that.

Doctor: Yeah, read it and weep, asshole. Go to Norway, pick up the team, and return to the city. Speaking of which, there's some interesting information you might want to know.

(Y/N): Oh?

Doctor: It turns out that there's an undercover agent that infiltrated the city some time ago. He contacted us when he saw you and the team going on your business.

(Y/N): Hmm. Well, I guess it's not surprising that you'd have ears inside this gig. 

Doctor: He's not from our ranks.