Nakedness Weaponized (Kill la Kill x OP!Male Reader)

Chapter 7: We Don't Talk About It

Five Minutes Later, Gainax Bar

Ryuko: So... You guys are part of a top-secret, super-powerful organization dedicated to capturing the, uh, anomalous, was it?

Bright: That's the "For Dummies" version of it, yeah.

Ryuko was understandably skeptical about this. With all the stuff happening lately, though, she couldn't rule out this outcome. Meanwhile, (Y/N) and the Director, introduced as Jack Bright, kept drinking Martinis.

Ryuko: What does "SCP" even stand for?

Bright: Seduction, Coitus, and Pregnancy.

Ryuko: ...You're kidding.

Bright: Nnnnnooo, not really. The team once had to make a collective effort to seduce a world-ending eldritch being to leave the world alone. This event is colloquially known as The Strip Club Incident.

(Y/N): *shudder* Never. Again.

Ryuko narrowed her eyes, as neither man had dropped their shit-eating smirks. Bright snorted before waving her off dismissively.

Bright: Nah, it stands for Secure, Contain, Protect.

Ryuko: ...Okay, that sounds about right-

(Y/N): And my pitch about "Stab Children Powerfully" was almost approved, but Nuremberg just had to happen at that same time, didn't it?!

Ryuko was only mildly surprised about this quip, which in turn just made her even more skeptical about the guy. 

Ryuko: And just what kind of "anomalies" do you deal with anyway? 

Bright: It'd be easier to list what kind of anomalies we DON'T deal with. Because of so many anomalies, they're divided into serial numbers. Go ahead and tell us the first number that comes to your mind.

Ryuko: A number? Uh, okay... 1000?

Bright: Bigfoot.

Ryuko: Wha-? Really?! It's an actual thing?!

Bright: Yep. *sigh* And here it comes...

Ryuko: What is it-?

(Y/N): AND I WAS RIGHT! No one ever believed me! "No, (Y/N), they're innocent creatures and we will not annihilate them", you said! Well, how the turns have tabled, huh?! You sure changed your tune after the Titania mission, didn't you?!

Bright: Yeah, yeah, we all owe you an apology and you got to rub it on the Ethics Committee's faces all you wanted. Are you still not happy?

(Y/N): Next time you hear that phone ringing, you fucking answer the call! 

Bright: Figured. Another random number, Ryuko.

Ryuko: Uh... 5000?

Bright: One of the less dangerous ones. Just a power suit that gives you super strength. Sort of like yours. With invisibility, though.

Ryuko: Huh. That sounds cool.

She was slightly disturbed by the long pause that followed this explanation. It got even creepier when she noticed the colossal grin on (Y/N)'s face and the fact that the Assistant gave her a pointed look before resuming his job.

Ryuko: ...Something wrong?

Bright: Nah, it was just for dramatic effect. Any other number, and make it specific.

Ryuko: Okay... how about #1? There's gotta be a first.

(Y/N): Which one?

Ryuko: What?