Rainy Letters → Harry J. Potter

Bad Beginnings

Song - Mirrored Heart, FKA Twigs

' Athena

I gripped my head in pain, the pressure was making it hard for me to stand. I put my hand on the wall to steady myself and looked around to make sure no one saw me in this state. Everyone in this school despised me, if they saw me like this they would never let me live it down.

Taking a deep breath I took a step forward. "Come on Athena, you can do it." I mumbled.

Taking another step I fell into the black hole. My entire world warped into the familiar green abyss, the halls spun in circles and I could feel the pressure in my brain increasing.

I could hear footsteps coming towards me. "Athena? Hey are you okay?" I turned my head to see Iris looking at me with a look of worry on her face. 'Shit' I thought, if Iris knew I was high again she'd make a big deal out of it.

Putting on a fake smile I walk towards Iris as steady as I could. "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." I replied trying to convince her to leave.

It was my first day back at Hogwarts and everything seemed to be back to normal. Well my normal. My day started off as usual. I took a shower, got dressed, had breakfast followed by my occasional dose of Molly.

Maybe not occasional but you get what I'm saying. I've been taking it for a while now. At first I took it as a stress reliever. When you're surrounded by people that hate you everyday you look for a way out.

But after a while it started to have a different affect on me. I became dependent and couldn't function with out it. I'm not addicted though. Even if I'am  addicted I'm too proud to admit it.

I thought the Molly would have worn off by the time I got off the train but it wasn't showing any signs of slowing down. Because of this I had to skip the sorting. I couldn't show myself in this state. Especially not in front of Harry. If he saw me like this I don't know what I would
do.

Iris didn't budge from her spot in front of me. She furrowed her eyebrows in displeasure before dragging me with her to the common rooms.

She sat me down on a bench in front of the fireplace and paced back and forth. 'Uh Oh' I thought. I knew what was coming next. Iris only paced when she felt someone was lying to her. My gig was up, I would have to tell her.

Iris stopped her pacing and stared at me with a stern look. Her blue eyes pierced through my soul. "Athena. This is the last time I'll ask."

I sighed.

"Are you Okay?" she asked this time her previous look of worry was replaced with a type of strictness that poked fear in me.

"I'm on molly again." I mumbled

"You're what?" Iris questioned in disbelief. "Iris, I'm taking molly again." I replied louder this time.

Iris's strict face dropped into a mixture of anger, fear and anguish. "Athena you promised me and Padma you would stop. You were sober for 3 months what happened ?!?!" she demanded.

I felt a few tears fall down my face. "I RELAPSED OKAY ?!?" I pulled at my hair in stress.

Iris pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Let's just go to bed. We can talk about it tomorrow."

I pursed my lips in response and went over to my bed, it couldn't be later than 7 but I was exhausted.

I watched Iris settle in her bed and move her back to face me. "Goodnight." she said with a sad smile.