The Honor of Beasts

Rosalia's Journal

December 16th, 1482 E.Y

Dear me,

Milo is starting to act strange. He's been different this past week, distant. But he still plays and jokes with us, just in a different way. If you know what I mean. His eyes have turned completely brown. It's pretty obvious now that they changed...somehow. Demetri must have noticed, but he still didn't say anything about it. Me and him still act normal, I think we're still holding onto some frail hope that Milo doesn't turn a....you know what. I shudder every time I think about it. I'm shuddering right now as I write this.

Today I beat Caleb in swordfighting! The look on his face was hilarious! Utter defeat. His father clapped and praised me, which he hadn't done in some time now. Actually, it's only the second time he's done so during the entire time he's been training me.

The first time being when I won at hide and seek. I know, I know it sounds strange and childish but it's true. See, he and Caleb hide and I have to find them without moving from my spot by sensing their energy. Apparently, that's a very important step (and the hardest) to start manipulating the energy surrounding me bit by bit. You can't manipulate something you can't see.

Energy is so so beautiful! At first it's just an aura surrounding a person, it's brightness depends on the energy of that person, like how powerful they are. Sorcerers have greater auras than normal humans. But then when you focus more, you see the golden energy strings weaved together like some kind of loose tapestry! Everyone has their own unique pattern.

Ugh I veered wayyyy off topic. Why do I keep doing that?

Anyway, Master Maurin always just gives curt, clear criticism. Ohhhhh but today was different!! I finally did something right! Not that I was bad before, in my honest opinion. But with Master Maurin...it's just hard to get his approval and praise.

So you could imagine that I was pretty happy and proud. Unlike Caleb, hehehe. But he deserved it! And the feeling of finally winning was glorious! I've been waiting for so long!

And next week.....guess what! Guess what!! Ooooo I'm so very very excited! I'll finally start training with the....deshoras!!! Yes! Finally!! Took them long enough right!? Oooo..I just can't wait! I've actually ridden on one before, but not by myself, and I certainly wasn't the one controlling it. I've watched the sorcerers training with them, it's absolutely magical!! Well basically it is magic. They change form midair or on land or wherever. From a horse to a rhino in a few seconds. I already know what I'm going to name mine! Iris! It just came to me and I liked it.

In just a week I'll be ready, Master Maurin says. But I feel ready now! Oooo I was always ready!

Until next time...

December 21th, 1482 E.Y

Dear me,

Today when we were leaving Fantasy Hills Demetri mentioned Milo. He voiced what we were both scared of. I think it's because today I saw...I can't even write it. Ohhhhh why!! WHY!!! Why does he have to be like this! We don't deserve this.

I saw a...star.

A star in his dark eyes. Glimmering, teasing me. It could just be the reflection of the sun, nothing important. That's what I kept saying to myself all day, even now. But then Demetri... He told me, he said...Ugh this is so hard to write! My hand's shaking. Please be nothing, please be nothing. People's eyes can change normally too, it doesn't have to be...

Demetri told me that he thinks Milo is a fallen star.

A

Fallen

Star!!

It's just a single glimmer, it doesn't have to mean anything. It's nothing! NOTHING!! He's normal. Normal. NORMAL!! Please! Please please please be nothing! He can't be... I just can't imagine...

UGHHHHH!!! I HATE THIS!! I HATE THE FALLEN STARS AND THEIR AWFUL EYES!! WHY DO THEY HAVE TO EXIST! WHY!  WHYYYYYY

And...I'm scared. I'm so scared. Of Milo, of what Demetri will do if Milo really is a you know what, or even of what I will do. Not really sure of which. But I'm scared. What if Milo really is a..NO! Stop it! I will not think of that. Stop!

Maybe writing in this isn't healthy. Someone might find this. What will they do then?

I should burn this. Burn you.

Burn everything.

I want to scream until every soul in this stupid palace can hear me. I want to cry until I drown. Why does this have to happen!!! It still hasn't happened, why am I like this?!? Maybe nothing will happen. Just stop with your maybes and what ifs.

Alright, that's it. I'm going to do something else. Farewell. Thanks for making me feel more terrible.

Until next time...

December 26th, 1482 E.Y

Dear me,

A few days have passed since I last wrote and since I last visited Fantasy Hills. And it's not because I'm busy. No, it's because I'm just too scared. I don't know if Demetri returned or not. But I'm planning on going today. I'm not sure what I'll find. And I've decided that I'll talk to Milo about...you know what. He will tell me he's not a...you also know what. Everything will be fine. We're best friends, after all. How could we have even become friends if he was a...you know what? They are monsters. Surely I would have known what he was.

Unless he was tri

NO! HE! WAS! NOT!

He's Milo. My friend. He would never ever trick me.

Life is cruel but not this much.

I hope...

I'll go right after training, Demetri starts training after me (so we won't see each other.) That way it'll be just me and Milo. For some reason, I don't think Demetri will like what I'm doing. I'm almost done with breakfast, I'll have to go now. Just my delicious blueberry tarts left. I once brought one for Milo, he absolutely LOVED them. Why not bring him one today? It will make things less...tense maybe.

Oh I think someone's coming, goodbye! Hopefully everything goes great today!

Until next time...

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