Swollen eyes, red nose, and a busted bottom lip was what I woke up too.
Last night all came flooding back to me- it was always there, I got two hours of sleep last night. On top of that, I cried my eyes out and chewed on my bottom lip so hard that it busted, dried blood drinking down the side of my mouth from when I fell asleep.
Groaning, I sat up in my sheets- more like on my sheets, I slept with a small thin blanket over me because I didn't dare slip under the covers that Draco had slept in before. My feet swooped over the bed, taking me to the bathroom where I finally looked in the mirror.
My face instantly frowned.
It always frowned looking at myself in the mirror, but seeing me now- when I had hope- i felt pitiful. I felt pathetic. Because for some stupid reason, I actually thought Draco could take a liking to me. I actually thought that we'd be able to get together- I needed to get my head out of the clouds. This wasn't a fairytale.
Slowly slipping on clothes, I left my hair down and I brushed. I was tired. Of everything. I didn't slip on my uniform, instead I put on a baggy sweater with some leggings that covered my ass. Looking in the mirror one more time, I had to blink away more tears with my left over mascara from yesterday- what was left from crying.
I slipped into the hallway, walking down the corridor in my converse. The corridors were dark, and I nearly tripped from my vision blurring with tears. I couldn't do this- I'd have to see them at breakfast, knowing there was a possibility of them sleeping together and him staying in her dorm.
It still shattered my heart thinking about it.
Someone was approaching me, yellow robes and I instantly knew them as Cedric. "Hey Delil- Hey, what's wrong?" He opened his arms for me, and I didn't hug him back, only let him rub my back while my head rested on his chest.
Cedric was always here for me- he was who I lost my virginity too, in 5th year we tried to date but it just didn't work out. He liked Cho, and I thought they were perfect for each other but we stayed friends and he always checked up on me when he saw me. "Ma- Malfoy," I whispered.
"Oh.."
I whipped my head, raising an eyebrow. "You know something. What the fuck do you know-."
"Look, Delilah." He rubbed my shoulder gently, a softened look on his face while he stared down at me. "Malfoy has a good reason. He's not doing it to hurt you."
I scoffed, pushing past him before he could utter another word. Now I felt even more stupid- If Cedric was telling me that Draco had a good reason, then it was most likely good but what nobody understands is my feelings. My feelings should matter too.
And they don't.
The Great hall was loud from outside, and I didn't want to open the doors but I had too. When I did, my palm laid flat on the door, until I slipped it off and kept my eyes on the ground. I didn't feel like people were staring me- who am I kidding? The wouldnt, nobody knew I liked Draco more than just a hookup except Pansy and probably now Cedric but they were both trust worthy.
Approaching the Slytherin table, I took a seat in between Pansy and Theodore, Ethan on the other side of Pansy and Blaise across from me where of course, Maddie and Draco sat. "Morning, Del." Ethan started, already making me roll my eyes and grab a pancake on my plate. "Do you mind helping me out with the potions homework?"
I didn't dare look at Draco, but I could practically feel Maddies smile. "If by helping you mean letting you copy, then I don't care what you do. Just don't spill coffee on my parchment or I will throw hands with you, Ethan."
Pansy giggled, while I poured syrup on my pancake and tucked my hair behind my ears. I handed my plate to Theodore, "You want me to cut it dont you?" He chuckled, and I nodded my head yes, watching him take my plate into his hands.
"Delilah, guess what?" Maddie piped up, and I swear to god if she says anything about Draco- "Me and Draco went on a date last night!"
I looked up at her, a calm look on my face but inside I was very upset. It felt like she was rubbing it in my face on purpose. "Yeah?" I asked while she nodded, and I pointed to her face, "You have something in your teeth."
Blaise was the first one to laugh, and then it was Ethan along with Theodore but I wasn't laughing. Nothing was funny, well, besides the embarrassed look on her face while she got up and excused herself to the bathroom.
"What the fuck was that?" Pansy laughed, before hiccuping on her bacon.
I shrugged, taking my plate back from Theodore and started eating. Draco however, wasn't that happy. "I get your upset, Delilah-."
I scoffed in the form of a laugh, cutting him off before glaring at him. "It's Hart, to you. And I'm not upset, I have no reason to be. If you honestly think that you can make it work with her, then do it. It's not my problem anymore." My pancake was warm in my mouth, and I savored the taste of it before he spoke again.
"That's not fair, I'm not doing this to hurt you," he tried to reason, his face stern but soft at the same time. Pansy and Theodore had a look on their face like they knew, they knew something and it pissed me off. "Don't do this. Don't be mad at me-."
I could already feel my eyes watering. The chatter of the great hall drowned out the shouts of my friends telling me to come back, but I stood up and left. They don't get to see me like this, they don't get to keep me in the dark and expect me to not be upset about it. They tell me he has a good reason, he tells me that he's not doing it to hurt me but it hurts me more than anything.
It's not fair- nothing is. He acts weird, I can't stop looking at him while he killed Theodore but clearly Theodore is alive. He sleeps with me, goes on a date with the person I no longer like but was my best friend right after he touched me. I tried to stop thr tear from slipping out, but it eventually left my bottom lid as I entered the library.
The section I was in yesterday seemed to be very unrealistic but it was the closest thing that made sense. I entered the aisles, tracing the same books I did yesterday, only the book I was saw was gone. The slot was empty, and it made me cry even more at how frustrated I was.
But a book laid next to it, that read; Compulsion, the frustration of forgetting.
