I laid in my bed, staring out at the window that was nearly covered in snow.
Earlier, Pansy took me to my dorm and surprisingly, she was nice to me. I don't understand why, because the last time I checked, all of them were ignoring me. I don't understand why now they decide to care, why now that I was in the hospital, they decided to apologize for ignoring me.
Was it a sick prank?
It wasn't funny. It wasn't funny at all- and if I had a chance too, all of them would've been slapped. They had no right to start being nice to me all of a sudden, Draco had no right to sit there and look at me with pity. I don't want his pity, I want him to leave me alone until I can finally grasp onto why the fuck I was the bad guy?
It wasn't fair, none of it was. They ignored me for weeks, they let Astoria be a complete bitch, they gave me dirty glares that made me sob my eyes out right afterwards in the bathroom. They were the reason I cut, they were the reason I went to the bathroom after the great hall and forced myself to puke up everything I ate.
Even now, when Draco was clearing sitting outside my dorm door, I didn't want to let him in. I don't even think he knew that I know he's there, but I do because of the way he walked up, and hesitated on knocking, and then still didn't knock. It's like he's trying to listen if I'm awake, and I wonder all the time if he feels guilty.
Now he was standing up, shuffling outside of my dorm and then finally, a knock came on my door. "Go. Away." I told him rudely, still looking out at the window, trying to figure out if I should let him in.
My answer was cut off when he twisted the doorknob and forcefully pushed the door open. It was locked- and sometimes I forget that he's a vampire. "Delilah, please." His eyes searched my face, a hurt expression written on his whole he closed the door. But it hardly closed because he bent the lock. "Please talk to me."
"No." I turned over in my bed, facing my entire body away from him and stared out at the other window. It was just as pretty.
Weight shifted on my bed, indicating he had taken a seat on it and I fought the urge to kick him off of it. "If you don't get off of my bed, I swear to Merlin I'll kick you off."
"Then do it," he sounded even more hurt. "Hit me, Delilah. Slap me, call me names, punch me, tell me I'm weak, tell me I'm pathetic. But I can't take this anymore-"
"You could take it a few hours ago." I cut him off, sitting up and turning to face him. "You could take it when I supposedly kissed someone else- but when I get put in the hospital, all of a sudden I'm not the girl who everybody hates. You could take being with Astoria-"
He sighed, running a hand over his face. "I didn't sleep with her," he told me softly, looking at his lap. "I wouldn't even- I didn't even let her in my dorm, Lilah. Please, talk to me about it."
I took the book off of my night stand, and threw it at him. He winced, rubbing his head afterwards but I threw it again after it bounced off the first time. "Fuck you, Malfoy." I got up from my bed, and was ready to lock myself in my bathroom until he was already in front of me, blocking the way. "Move."
He shook his head, "You have every right to be mad at me- you do. But I didn't know you were compelled, Delilah-"
"Excuse me?!" I scrunched up my face, taking a step back from him.
"You were, Lilah." He took a step forward- I took one back. "But you need to understand that from what I saw, you kissed someone right in front of me after telling me that you- you didn't want me anymore. Of course I was mad about that."
"Yeah, and you also didn't believe me." I snapped my eyes up to his, poking his chest. "You didn't believe me when I told you I didn't remember. You didn't do anything to help me when you knew everything that was going on. You sat there and watched your new girlfriend be a bitch to me. I don't want to forgive you for that."
He nodded, understanding. "I know, and I'm sorry. You don't have to believe me, but I am sorry, Delilah. I'm so fucking sorry that I didn't believe you, I just- you said you said you didn't want me anymore, and it actually-" he took a deep breath, and it surprised me how much he wasn't getting mad at me.
It was baffling me how he wasn't telling me to shut up, or telling me that I have no right to be upset because I kissed someone else. He was actually understanding that he fucked up.
"Draco," I choked out, saying his name for the first time in a long time. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to kiss someone else- but I swear I- I didn't remember." My voice sounded choked up, tears welling up in my eyes.
His hand came up to my cheek, caressing it and I bit back a sob. "You don't have to apologize, Delilah. I'm sorry. I don't want anyone else but you."
I practically jumped in his arms, his hands catching me by the under side of my thighs, my arms wrapping around his neck. Breathing in his scent was like breathing in actual air for the first time, and I could actually breathe.
He brought me to the bed, sitting down with me straddling him. "Fuck, I missed you, Lilah." He wrapped his arms around my waist, rubbing my back soothingly.
"I missed you," I told him softly, my tears slowing down.
He held me tighter, "Lilah?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
-
[the next chapters will be published later because I don't want to publish so many chapters at the same time.]
