Scared to Die, Afraid to Live//A Peter Parker Angst Story

Chapter 2

(This Chapter includes Peter going through foster care. I haven't done much research nor have I ever been in foster care so this chapter will prob suck but oh well💀 sorry)

The water was cold, sharp. It hurt. But Peter didn't mind. He knew he should be doing this. He's wasting water. May would have to work harder to to pay the water bill. If she was alive. Peter then thought of something he hadn't done in awhile.
The razor looked so nice. He couldn't help it. He slowly reached for his razor at the edge of sink and folded up his wet hoodie sleeve. It seemed like the water seemed to hit him harder as he drew the sharp object across his wrist. One, then two, then three...the blood seemed to endlessly flow out as he made more marks. It hurt. But it wasn't like he hadn't felt pain before. He'd been thrown off buildings, punched into walls... he wanted to feel pain like that right now. He was slightly weaker then normal due to his stressed, untaken care of body, but that didn't stop him from using what spider strength he did have to cut deeper. From one wrist to another, and then his legs. He started to feel dizzy as the pain continued. He was going to pass out.

Peter woke up in a bath mixed with cold water and blood. He must have turned off the water and passed out. He slowly got up, and pulled the plug to drain the water then threw off his clothes and carried himself to his room to put on a pair of loose shorts and a hoodie. His cuts didn't seem to really heal from his enhanced healing yet but the water had stopped the bleeding. Peter tiredly sat down on the couch and stared at the wall.
'9:27 pm' the clock read.
"She's really dead..." Peter muttered before breaking down again. He cried louder then he ever had. His sobs filled the empty apartment as all the memories of him and his aunt came rushing back to him. Hadn't the world taken enough from him? Was Ben and his parents not enough? Life seemed to take everything from him. He loved Spider-Man but it wasn't some kind of great gift. He hasn't had the life he should have had because of it. He hated life. So much. He hated everything. It wasn't fair.

A hour later Peter had calmed down. He weakly laid on the couch as he scrolled through his phone. He hadn't been on in about 3 days now so he had missed a couple of things sent to him.
'19 Missed Calls from Ned'
'16 Missed Calls from Mj'
'30 Unread Texts from Mj'
'23 Unread Texts from Ned'
'5 Notifications from Instagram'
'Stark Internship Application: Greetings Mr. Parker...'
There were other notifications but the Stark Internship Email had caught Peter's eye. He thought about how he probably didn't get in but he still figure he would check anyways.

Stark Internship Application:
Greetings Mr. Parker! Thank you for applying for a job at [STARK INDUSTRIES] as a [INTERN]. I'd like to inform you that we received your application/resume/portfolio/entrance test and our hiring team as well as Mr. Stark himself have reviewed what you have sent in and decided you are a good fit for the team! Mr. Stark was intrigued by the work you sent in and would like to work with you personally to enhance your abilities as well as have you be his assistant. Please reply 'Understood' to finalize your spot in [STARK INDUSTRIES] within 7 days of this email being sent. Failure to respond will result in us believing you do not want the spot.

We hope to hear from you soon,
STARK INDUSTRIES

"N-no way..." Peter muttered as he looked at the email. "I've gotta tell May..." Peter said before realizing she was gone. A quick tear fell down his cheek before his doorbell rang. He slowly got up to get to the door, wincing at the pain in his legs. Peter got to the door and looked through the little peek who before opening the door.
"Peter!"
"Ned...?"
"Are you ok? You haven't answered any of me or Mj's calls! I haven't seen Spider-Man around either...are you sick? You look horrible. Have you been crying...?"
"Ned I... May she... she..." Peter tried to explain but he couldn't. A lump started to form in his throat as his eyes got blurry. He was gonna be sick. He ran to the bathroom and dry-heaved into the toilet as tears fell down his face. Peter fell to the ground in pain as he continued to try to throw up the food that wasn't there.
"P-Peter!" Ned squeaked as he scrambled to the bathroom to try and help his friend.
After a moment, Peter had stopped though he was still a crying mess and struggled to breathe.
"Peter what's wrong?! Do you need something? Should I-"
"It's May... she died."
Ned looked at Peter with wide eyes.
"Oh Peter, I...I'm sorry." He said as he brought his friend into a hug. They say there for a minute before calming down. When Peter had enough strength to get up they moved to the couch and put on a star wars movie quietly as they talked.
"Peter... I've been meaning to ask... where did you get those..?" Ned asked, point to the scars scattered across his legs, some deeper then others. Though they looked to be a week old due to the boy's super healing.
"I... I didn't mean to... I just... I had gotten home from the doctor and..."
"Oh...Peter your my best friend. I could never imagine the pain you're going through but please...try not to hurt yourself. There are people who care about you. If you ever feel like that I'm here to talk."
"Ok... Thanks Ned."
After a few comforting words shared between them, talk of the internship, and the end of the movie, Ned was told he had to go home since his mother had knew he snuck out. Ned offered many times to Peter that he could stay at his house but he declined them all. Ned had declared he would visit early in the morning multiple times before being pushed out by Peter who knew he had to get home.

After Ned had left, Peter sat alone on his couch. He didn't sleep, or move, or watch Tv. He just sat there. Alone. I'm the dark. He listened to the bustling city below him and the noisy people in the apartment above him. There is so much noise, it fills up the room. So why does it feel so empty?

It was now morning a Peter had suddenly been awoken from some trance he was in. He never actually fell asleep. More like zoned out. The door knocked once, then twice.
"N-Ned...?" Peter whispered.
"Peter Parker? Are you in there?"
Peter cautiously made his way to the door and opened it to find a tall pale man with glasses and short black hair.
"You must be him! Hello Mr. Parker. I am Caleb Kane. I'm a part of the Foster Care system and I'll be helping you find a place to stay since unfortunately, you cannot stay here."
"O-Oh...yeah..." Peter replied as his head fell.
"Don't worry! Well find you a great place to stay and then get you back on track with school! Your foster parents will probably want you to get back to that soon!"
"Ok.."
"Ok! First things first, why don't you go get your things! I'll just wait here. Take your time. But preferably take your time quickly."
Peter went to his room and started packing things. Basic items like his clothes, his suit, charger, etc... as well as a few different photos around the house and a napkin a certain hot boy on the subway had gave him. After a few moments of starring at his room and the rest of the small but cozy apartment, Peter walked back over to Mr. Kane who was just finishing up a call. Petter shifted to a more comfortable position with his duffle bag and backpack before looking at the man in fort of him.
"I'm done..."
"Right. Let's head down to my car. Luckily, you'll be sent to your Foster family straight away after some calls I made and they aren't very far away either."
'Joy...' Peter thought as he started to follow the man down the old creaky stairs of the apartment.
'Maybe this won't be that bad... Aunt May would want me to look on the bright side of this right....?'